@westfieldsf

(the official unofficial parody account) Tweets from the Westfield Mall in San Francisco, CA

Joined April 2015
  • Tweets199
  • Following214
  • Followers78
7Media
Today at the mall: banal capitalism and unexpected pockets of air that include the strong odor of cologne. #SocialistsWelcome
Want to save money this holiday season? Come to the #mall for free perfume samples. Then use our free wrapping service and gift them to friends and family. Nothing says I love you like a gift you got for free! #christmassale #Christmas2018 #savingmoney
Get away from the smoke outside and come choke on our perfume at the mall!
That's a secret @Cinnabon perk. After you order 1,000 lifetime 'bons you can just order the raw syrup, you even get a free jumbo straw!
The @WSJ & mall tracking: We ONLY track # of shoppers and the total amount (in pounds) of 💩 they produce to forecast # of @Cinnabon stores.
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Fun Fact: Our mall cops are sworn in on the @Cinnabon secret fryer manual. Trust us, nothing tastes that good unless it is fried.
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We have been purchased by @salesforce. We are now ForceMaxTower2. 162 stories will be added by 2019 for a gigantic waterslide, $292/ride.
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Westfield Mall SF retweeted
Nicholas Hobson@nichobby6 Mar 2017
Just had my first conversation with pepper at @westfieldsf mall #ai #ux #pepper #SanFrancisco
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3 ways to make sure your @Cinnabon isn't fake news: 1. It's 9" in diameter 2. 😴 time sets in ~20 mins 3. It feels 💯 % not like eating a 🥗
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Several stores are leaving us to spend some more time with their families. Remember, corporations are people too! hoodline.com/2017/02/several…

Several Westfield Shops Call It Quits

As a new Mid-Market mall prepares to open, it seems like a mass exodus is taking place at Fifth and Market's Westfield Centre.

hoodline.com
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hopefully you weren't talking about the minorities. At Westfield we support all people of all creeds. You should apologize!
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Replying to @s1n2en
Oh no way, housing is so 2016 @s1n2en. We are increasing fees to help pay for our new $200,000 massive metallic 🐼👍. entrepreneur.com/article/275…

Dropbox Cuts Perks, But Not a $100,000 Chrome Panda

'We're keeping the panda as a company-wide reminder of the importance of both our past and future in thoughtful spending -- but it's just one example,' read Dropbox's email.

entrepreneur.com
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Replying to @Bernard_Boo
Thank you @Bernard_Boo! We are proud to have @Nordstrom and @Cinnabon here. Buy nice clothes and then soak them in a deluge of sugary goop.
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Come join the mall family. 1. Good benefits (Free Cinnabon, no healthcare). 2. Flexible hours. 3. Free Microsoft Zune after 6 months.
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To comply with a new executive order that changes the ADA... All jars are 67% smaller and can be opened by anyone with 👶sized 👐.
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We are building a wall too, but not to keep people out. These prices are so insane it should be illegal to leave! 40% off all toeshoes!!
We just got a shipment of 1200 #AirPods in... find them in the "home" section of the @MicrosoftStore. #buyasurface #marketingploy
We have heard about the recent #drunkshopping trend going around @kidninjalos. We are glad to hear that you haven't got involved.
The sad face changed the context of your tweet @kidninjalos. Talk to your parents about using ( and ) responsibly. The internet has no undo.
Why sad @kidninjalos? There's no way megacorp Vans can survive without people who drink champagne and make drunk shoe buys. #TreatYoself!
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