Amy Don

On the eve of my birthday, doing a bit of research about the future only to find out there’s a leap year where my next Friday birthday should be. So I’ll be fucking THIRTY SEVEN on my actual next Friday birthday. FUMING does NOT cover it.

I'm making some tshirts for eczema sufferers - "These itches ain't loyal" #skincare

I miss making my own certificates on the PC. Used to have so much self-esteem.

Loads of videos of people putting gold leaf on foods. For eating. For eating gold. I'm out here munching toast 2.5 times a day.

4 hour delay at @flySFO, looks like we've been @Delta bad hand

Can't wait for #ValentinesDay. Or as I like to call it - cry, laugh & eat at the exact same time day.

What do you buy for a 2 year cat anniversary?

Taking multi-vitamins, wearing glasses & looking up ways to report nuisance car alarms. WHO AM I? #2017

football

I have made up so many science tonight. People are believing it. @NeilDegrass is this what you do?

Just yelled "COUGH" at a huskily voiced American and the whole joint has been silent for >4 mins #awkwardbritish

"She's not doing any me favours" - Donald Trump, age 70, 2016 #debate2016

I should get an Oscar for how good I am pretending to peruse the brunch menu when I already know I'm definitely getting a #mimosa

#tinder #whatsapp #ham

"Videos you might like" thanks for making me feel like a weird loser Instagram

I wonder if people know I'm angry when I passive-aggressively leave out punctuation in text messages #period

Red wine & a blanket are good for that moment when you realise you're envious of a cartoon character #blessed