Left is the cover. Right is a totally different book inside. I'm so confused. And yet convinced it must be some sort of Willy Wonka golden ticket of books. What have I won @IVPbookcentre ?

Well, that was weird. #2020

4yo: "Dad, what day is it today?" "Tuesday" "I don't get dressed on Tuesdays. I'll get dressed on the other days, but not Tuesday." #lockdown #stayhome #PJday

Me: what would you like for dinner tonight? 4yr old: pizza Me: maybe - do you think daddy wants pizza? 4yr old: we should ask OK Google #parenting 🤦🏻‍♀️

Mum: "I didn't know Valium was a rapper" Me: "Pardon?" Mum: "I didn't know he was a rapper" *Sees The Voice Kids on TV* Me: "do you mean Will.i.am?" 😂😂 #mumquotes @iamwill @voicekids_sat1

Police lending a hand to our OAP pal to assemble her new sideboard after @OFLoakfurniture promised assembly when purchased and then refused at delivery 🤦 #toddlerlife

"we definitely need to go on a scotch tour and to visit the white elephant - it's where @jk_rowling wrote Harry Potter". I love tourist chat. #Overheard #Edinburgh #HarryPotter

Geordie train manager on the 13:00 @Virgin_TrainsEC KX to Edinburgh train is a legend. Shout-outs, tourist information, jokes - the whole shebang 👌 #train #greatjob

Pretty nice way to say sorry for a soggy bagel - especially after £4 of bagel vouchers! Thanks @NYBakeryCo 👌😍

Gap-yah on steroids. That's what's happening in my train carriage. But not funny or ironic. Just very loud.

Leaving Newcastle 10mins before was due to arrive in London and no tea due to broken boiler 😫 #sadtimes @VirginTrains

Squidgy and undercooked 😥 no packed lunch for me tomorrow @NYBakeryCo #bagelgate

Toddler in car seat: intentional. Keys under toddler: unintentional. Hoping toddler could unlock: laughable. @TheAA_UK man breaking in: HERO

Hats off to the people who #LiveWellWithIBD and everyone who helps 😊 Happy #WorldIBDDay @CrohnsColitisUK @CrohnsColitisFn @CICRA_Charity

Sea salt & lime crisps: taste sensation Tequila & lime crisps: natural disaster #badsurprise #theylookthesame @AldiUK @Bennicolson

Turns out the benefit of a 5 month old up through the night is taking a nap during your root canal. #sleepy