userac99

#ItReallyAintEasy being people pleasy.

#IOnlyShoutWhen shouted to, I shout you not. - I mean, shit you not.

#IOnlyShoutWhen I want to let it all out. - The things I can do without.

#IWantMyMoneyBackIf you're going to accuse me of counterfeiting. - The nerve, now give me back my million dollar bill & I'll be on my way.

#TheBestWayToEatDonuts is by making the salad watch.🥗🔫😠🍩

#WhatToBeSkepticalAboutNow Y2K. - I'm starting to come around.🤔

#ThingsIShouldBeGivingUp Drinking. - From now on it's just guzzling.

#TodayIsZeroTaskingDaySo if you need me I'll be in my coma.

#IfTheSpiritMovesYou you're a witch, burn you!🫵😠🔥

#TheBestWayToEatCheese is in the middle of the night when no one is around to stop you. - Ow! *gets finger caught in mousetrap*

#TheFinestDetectiveCould be here standing sideways & we wouldn't know it.🕵️‍♂️👀

#TheBestWayToEatBread is freshly baked.

#WhatWillMakeMeHappyIs going to make a lot of people unhappy. *retrieving old accordion from the attic*

#IDoNotTrustPeopleWho trust me. - They're a bad judge of character.

#TheBestChocolatesAre not white. - Sorry, it's just true.

#TheBestChocolatesAre always gone by the time I reach the bus stop.

#TheBestChocolatesAre free chocolates. *releases mini-snickers in public pool*

#TheBestChocolatesAre made with nuts. - Man, those Aztecs really knew how to eat.😋

#TheBestChocolatesAre ghost chocolates. Cause they're always gone by the time you come back from the store.🍫🤷‍♂️🙎‍♀️

#TheBestChocolatesAre ones that melt in your mouth not in your Han.