Richard

New blog post? New blog post. captaincrikey.wordpress.com/…

What is Roy Keane thinking? captaincrikey.wordpress.com/…

"Ten ways to boost your productivity" captaincrikey.wordpress.com/…

#masterchefuk "unpleasant hollandaise" will be the name of my first solo album

"Make a breakfast dish. You have the ingredients, a basic recipe (floating in a flooded basement), and a vague sense that everyone else is an actor." #masterchefuk

A professional bassoonist is making flatbreads out of beans. You think, how would I know if I was dreaming? Or being dreamt? #MasterChefUK

Pastry rectangles, yum #MasterChefUK

Beginning to wonder if Paddy is being possessed by a demonic bassoon #MasterChefUK

Bassoons on toast #MasterChefUK

Cherry milk sauce, of course #MasterChefUK

Gaston with his cub scout lanyard and mash in choux of course #masterchefuk #MasterChefTheProfessionals

If one is asked to cook in a pop-up restaurant, surely the only food that can be cooked is soufflés? Pop-up name: soufflé, soufflé or killing me soufflé. #masterchefuk #MasterChefTheProfessionals

Lavender is the new lovage #masterchefuk #MasterChefTheProfessionals

ONE BLACKBERRY AND ONE LONELY CAULIFLOWER SOLDIER ON THAT PLATE #masterchefuk #MasterChefTheProfessionals

Prawn and camomile? Me and no! #masterchefuk #MasterChefTheProfessionals

Gaston Le Roux - the phantom of the chopping board #MasterchefUK #MasterChefTheProfessionals

Smoke me some ewe's curd, I'm off out to burn some new potatoes #MasterchefUK #MasterChefTheProfessionals

Jay Rayner, a Roman Emperor reincarnated in the body of a musketeer #MasterchefUK #MasterChefTheProfessionals

Who had Crispy Mackerel Skeleton in the sweepstake? #MasterchefUK #MasterChefTheProfessionals

Marcus is not a badger - he is a wolf, limping beside a crevasse in the height of winter, the smell of snow still to come borne on the wind. #MasterchefUK #MasterChefTheProfessionals