In 2017, I paid @CAH to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire-Elon Musk-stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100 #ElonOwesMe100Bucks

Oof, @AmericanAir makes it hard to want to keep on flying it.

UM WHAT? I just joined #Yowza, Cards Against Humanity’s new social network with no lies, hate, or crypto enthusiasts. Get 25% off at the CAH store (and also help me win $69,420) by signing up with my code doing-trout-spoon before 7:30 PT. #FuckXJoinYowza yowza.social/auth/sign_up?r=…

Day 37: National Hamburger Day, so obv you know what I had to do.

Day 36: Not for me.

Day 35: After all this time, my first "Gargantuan"

Day 34: I flew this. Just to fly this. To Jonesboro, Arkansas. Just to fly here. Thanks, @iFlySouthern

Day 33: The Rooster is Booster. It's not a dinosaur or a baseball headed thing.

Day 32: I'll have whatever the chef sends over.

Day 31: Aero room with a view this afternoon.

Day 30: A big breakfast I'm most certainly loving, cherry blossom tart included.

Day 29: It's Star Wars Day at the game. During the President's race: "Luke, I am your founding father!"

Day 28: If I'm standing here, I'm no longer stateless.

Day 27: Before there was ice cream, there was pizza.

Day 26: I sat through lunch trying to remember random stuff from 27 years ago. That's as much as I can say.

How did I not know this happened three months ago? FLB is no longer a valid UIUC building name!

This is UIC-Halsted, as far as this train goes on Thursday at 10:01pm. I just want to go home, and also... pee. Why, @cta?

It feels like September 28, 2017 all over again! For the first time, um, a second time...