Laura Simone (@tweibow) profile picture

Struggles with keys, fills silences, no follow through.

Toronto, on
Joined September 2013
Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)Photo by Laura Simone (@tweibow)
Shticks & Giggles Live: How does feminism fit into Jewish comedy? — watch the conversation today at noon (or anytime after) ⁦@stalkingnatalie⁩ ⁦@tweibow⁩ thecjn.ca/events/shticks-gig…
4
4
Between bowel diseases and mental health issues, Jews are a sickly people. But comedy runs in our veins—so @dantheguyrosen and @RyanZComedy join @tweibow to explain how they make light of the least funny parts of their lives. thecjn.ca/podcasts/how-to-ma…
Tune in today at 1 pm, we’re talking standup comedy and chronic illness!
This Sunday! Tune in LIVE to watch our new comedy podcast with @tweibow unfold before your very eyes. Feat. @dantheguyrosen and @RyanZComedy
2
Listen to our live stream tomorrow friends
This Sunday! Tune in LIVE to watch our new comedy podcast with @tweibow unfold before your very eyes. Feat. @dantheguyrosen and @RyanZComedy
My toxic trait is always giving my divorced parents each other’s sign-in info for subscription services. Whether they want it or not.
1
4
Yoko Ono like “oh THAT’S who I’ve been hanging out with for the last week“
5
I hate when the beauty counter people at shoppers go pick you out a free sample product because it’s usually called something damning like “serum for disgusting whores with acne and dry patches and scoliosis”
4
podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcas… This week on “A Few of My Favourite Jews” I spoke with the charming, hilarious, Seinfeld-aficionado Leah Abrahams about the show, the man, and what makes us wet! If this is info that would be pertinent to you or your family then give us a listen!
1
What about a prank show where I go around wrapping people tightly in blankets and then I say “you just got swaddled bro!”
6
Come join us for a laugh-blast this week at @laughsabbath! If you don’t, you will regret it when you are old and ailing; you will say “I wish I went to Laugh Sabbath that time”
1
4
21
Guys give this new podcast miniseries a listen. I’m really proud of it and if you’re also struggling to find a relationship with spirituality or Judaism I think you’ll get something out of it. @CJNpodcasts thecjn.ca/podcasts/be-my-ref…
2
6
People say they get Botox, fillers, skin peels, semen drips, whatever, so that they can “stay youthful”. But like is that a tenet of youth? Constant procedures? Staying youthful would be like jumping into some kids’ double Dutch and getting fingered in the woods sometimes.
5
I think there are only two reactions to smoking weed: having no filter or having ONLY filter.
9
Working on TV clean material. Here’s what I have so far “Ladies, you ever queef so hard your pants fall down?”
2
16
I think my new downstairs neighbour Brent just heard me fart in the backyard. I’m really not looking to date right now but this is classic meet cute story and I think our fates* are now sealed. Farts*
17
This guy that I’ve had a crush on for years messaged me asking me if I was single because he wanted to set me up with his cousin. Uh, we all have cousins Brendan. If I wanted to date a cousin I’d just date my cousin.
28
My sister ate all of the marshmallows out of the lucky charms I bought, but left me the cereal portion. I guess her thinking was she ate half and left me the other half? But that would be like asking if I wanted to split a hot dog and then just giving me a bun.
5
When people talk about their friends and they’re like “OMG I would never even think about having sex with him, it’s not like that, he’s like my brother” it’s like ok I guess you guys have hideous brothers??
10
Just a PSA: If someone you know asks you if they can use your social media account to look at someone that has them blocked, say no. You don’t know why that person was blocked. And I’m not about to tell my sister directly to her face that I don’t want to meet her new baby.
1
11