Sweaty and scruffy and sore

“Three likes isn’t a lot” Imagine three serial killers in your house

Well well well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions

jerking off rn

Come here so I can do stuff to you

Which one of you wants to share a chilli dog lady and the tramp style?

Ugh why did I agree to make plans today kill me now

Yall better have a good fuckin night and some sweet fuckin dreams so help me god

Pizza ordered where’s that delivery guy

Look at it go!

You’re right I should order a pizza tonight

Having a very casual, very cool breakdown

You’re in her DMs, I’m in the washing machine going round and round and round and round and round and round

Nothing I hate more than people who beg for attention on Twitter (That’s my thing get your own)

Nothing I love more than smashing my funny bone into something large and metal Unrelated, I require an urgent arm transplant

I now pronounce you smelly and stupid

MAYBE IF YOUR KID KEEPS RUNNING AWAY EVERY FIVE MINUTES YOU SHOULD STOP TAKING YOUR EYES OFF HER

Worried that if I don’t find somebody to annoy asap I might die

Time to make some bad decisions