gen x reject. unfortunate atlanta sports fan & dawg. avid absurdist, traveler, mess

Joined March 2009
Welcome to Twitter, someone you don't know is already mad at you
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There's still time to delete your Ray Kerr and Dom Smith tweets.
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[scribbles on your to-do list] shut up
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god: well, i have to send you to hell me: why god: you made fun of absolutely every person ever me: nice sandals bro
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what if you walked up to a salad bar and like 6 salads were sitting there getting drunk
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We used to listen to a band called Butthole Surfers.
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[breakfast] sir how would you like you eggs? me: it's 6am just smash them over my head i don't care
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Just walked into a wall, planning on doing it again
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The rabbit is escaping from the dog by taking breaks because the dog is a bit chubby. 😂
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When Georgia ended its title drought 🐶
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Things that never happened- 1. A Tennessee mens Final Four 2. A Bama 15-0 season 3. This
UGA fans said he’d be a bust. Wild.
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visual interpretation of twitter
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Drunken elephants really do exist, and their chaotic behavior is hilarious. Thanks to fermented marula fruit (which has an alcohol content similar to that of beer), these gentle giants end up getting drunk.
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Introverts don't recharge with sleep; we recharge by being left completely alone for 3 -5 business days.
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This is the funniest thing I’ve seen on the internet. Afroman had his house raided by Ohio Adam County deputies… who found absolutely nothing… broke his door, trashed his place, allegedly had $400 go missing… and then they refused to pay for the damages. So, like any reasonable rapper would do… He turned his home security footage into music videos, mocking them. And then, the deputies sued him for FOUR MILLION dollars… because they didn’t like being made fun of. And Afroman’s response? He dropped ANOTHER music video. In his own words: “Unconfidential informant lied to Police to get out of some trouble. Adam County Sherriff officers made a mistake by believing the lie. Raided my house, found nothing, refused to pay for the damages and filed a lawsuit against me, Afroman, for exercising my freedom of speech! This is me holding trial in one song. I hope you enjoy it.” They said his videos “ridiculed” them… so he decided to show them what that actually looks like. And the best part? A jury basically said… yeah… you don’t get to raid someone’s home, end up in their surveillance footage, and then cry because they used it to make fun of you.
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I'm an embarrassment to my family and also other families
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TRUE ROMANCE is an Amazing Film
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My therapist wants me to start coming in twice a week probably because I'm super interesting
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Everyone should be following @MalcolmNance for the 411 on Iran. Get educated- that's the source.
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Prayers to Keith Olbermann having to watch the U.S. Men’s Hockey team win gold Devastating day for him
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Connor Hellebyuck and this dude, the biggest heroes in America right now
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