If I was a worm I’d still be better than all you bitches

If I was a crow I’d still be better than all you bitches

Los Angeles animal control had me on hold for thirty minutes then hung up on me. The bird is dead my man :/

I’ve got foreskin in the game

If Napoleon was in Bone Thugs-N-Harmony he would be Nappy Bone

Well I drank nine beers instead of taking my meds, time to yell at my girlfriend 🫡

No babe what you said made me throw up in a good way

Lot of girlfriend posts before I pick her up from work ama

Denying your girlfriend sex is like semen retention for guys who aren’t complete losers

My girlfriend is on here but I blocked her cause I don’t take my home work with me

Gf: “wrong bitch” Me: “no no, same bitch”

When I was young I became interested in graphetic morpheme pattern recognition and whether reverse engineering could lead to full synaptic route calls in the brain at scale via digital media Then I met some people and did hundreds of hits of lsd and dmt Probably nothing

Polymarket odds on The New Yorker publishing a suicide note of the first white male literary fiction writer born after 1984

The For You page can tell when you’re about to post a banger because it demands penance in the form of liking sub-100-like posts and reply guying to other bangers in progress

I’m going to kill you, you specifically <first_name> <last_name>, by blowing up your <device_type> with my <sexual_fear>

The hardest part about having a ski mask that’s actually a hijab is that your crimes are abound with unnecessary reports and goose chases

I think if your parents sibling girlfriend friends therapist psychiatrist and coworkers all tell you they’re Very Worried About You in less than 24 hours then you should get an award or a supermarket sweeps style event or perhaps a kiss??

Went to target and accidentally saw mannequssy

In case anyone is wondering, the last use of the internet is not imminent. When we all abandon the ship and run to the lifeboats, America takes North and South, Russia takes Europe, and China takes Africa and Oceania. Thanks for playing, see you next time 🎡

My bitch smoking on Ticonderoga #2