Tracy Dowd

Um no. Meet Nathan "No-Nothing" Cavanaugh, the 28-year-old college dropout who looks like he's still waiting for his mom to pick him up from middle school. He's the genius Elon Musk put in charge of dismantling federal grants despite having zero experience in government, zero experience in grants administration, and zero qualifications for anything except being young and arrogant enough to say "there were no books" when asked what informed his decisions to destroy over 1,400 research projects. This little twerp sat under oath and admitted he used ChatGPT to decide which grants to kill, feeding the AI a prompt to flag anything related to DEI, LGBTQ issues, or basically anything that mentioned people who aren't straight white men. He and his buddy Justin Fox, another private equity bro with no relevant experience, made six-figure salaries while gutting tens of millions in funding for documentaries about Black civil rights, Holocaust survivors, and LGBTQ military veterans. When asked if he felt any remorse for the thousands of people who lost their income because he decided a documentary about Black history "focused on a singular race" and therefore didn't "benefit humankind," he cut the question off mid-sentence and said "No." No remorse. No empathy. Just a smug, entitled little nationalist who thinks reducing the deficit is more important than the livelihoods of actual human beings, even though federal spending actually went up under his watch. The kicker? He admitted to sending government files through his personal Signal account, bypassing federal data regulations. Legal experts are already calling it a felony. This arrogant little snake thinks he's above the law while sitting there looking like he's never had to work a real day in his life. I cannot wait to watch him squirm when the lawsuits catch up with him, when he has to explain to a judge why he thinks being a 28-year-old college dropout with no experience and a ChatGPT account qualifies him to destroy American research and scholarship. Maybe then he'll become a real man. If that ever happens.