@toyns

I’m Toyns on most sites. Come find me! Or not. Writer of books and other nonsense. Mask wearer. Bean club member. Train lover. Book hoarder. he/him/his

 New York, NY
etimprov.com/
Joined June 2009
  • Tweets21.4K
  • Following277
  • Followers4.9K
1.9KMedia
How Big Are Jack Reacher’s Hands?: An Investigation
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In the final frame of The 400 Blows, Antoine Doinel looks at the camera. A title card reads “FIN”

ALT In the final frame of The 400 Blows, Antoine Doinel looks at the camera. A title card reads “FIN”

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if twitter goes away, how can I keep track of which neighborhood dads are defiant?
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What if she invents technology that will allow her to serve an entire 11-year sentence in just one hour?
The Associated Press
@AP18 Nov 2022
One-time billionaire and failed Theranos entrepreneur Elizabeth Holmes is going to prison. A judge sentenced her to more than 11 years for duping investors in her once lauded blood-testing startup. apnews.com/article/elizabeth…

Elizabeth Holmes gets more than 11 years for Theranos scam

Disgraced Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes has been sentenced to more than 11 years in prison for duping investors in the failed startup that promised to revolutionize blood testing but instead made her...

apnews.com
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Erik Tanouye retweeted
Erik Tanouye@toyns29 Nov 2012
Just found this new app that tells you which of your family members are racist. It's called Facebook.
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Erik Tanouye retweeted
Erik Tanouye@toyns13 Jul 2009
Floating face down in the hoopla
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It was from there that we emerged, to see—once more—the stars.
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The end of a short story reads “‘I never want to see any of these people again.’ There are the notes. Now where is the money?”

ALT The end of a short story reads “‘I never want to see any of these people again.’ There are the notes. Now where is the money?”

Dad asked me to stop twittering, as he had some news. I did stop twittering, but first I got a couple more twitters in, and this seemed to make Dad mad. "I said, stop twittering!" he yelled. I think he felt bad for yelling at me, especially since it looked like he had bad news.
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"Look," he said, "you can twitter later, but first—" Well, I didn't even wait to hear the rest. As soon as I heard "You can twitter," that's what I started doing. Twittering away, happy as an old twitter dog.
Rick and Louis walk into the fog at the end of Casablanca. They don’t know it yet, but they will eventually defeat the Nazis.

ALT Rick and Louis walk into the fog at the end of Casablanca. They don’t know it yet, but they will eventually defeat the Nazis.

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A room covered in white powder

ALT A room covered in white powder

The same room with a foot and hand print

ALT The same room with a foot and hand print

More foot prints in the dust

ALT More foot prints in the dust

Marks of the hands of someone who was dragged away

ALT Marks of the hands of someone who was dragged away

It turns out the guy who bought this website … … was a huge piece of shit.
David Caruso from CSI: Miami

ALT David Caruso from CSI: Miami

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Twitter trying to make it through November.
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Even if you can talk your company’s owner out their bad decisions, you can’t unlearn the fact that your company’s owner makes so many bad decisions.
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Maybe take another pass at this headline, Bustle.
A Bustle headline reads “Who is Tenoch Huerta dating? Namor actor loves kids”

ALT A Bustle headline reads “Who is Tenoch Huerta dating? Namor actor loves kids”

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Now that Dems have the Senate, Herschel Walker probably gonna abort his runoff campaign.
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The cover of Joni MItchell's Blue with a Twitter checkmark that says "Verified Sad Woman"

ALT The cover of Joni MItchell's Blue with a Twitter checkmark that says "Verified Sad Woman"

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I can only hope The Fabelmans finally answers a question we've all been asking for years: Does Steven Spielberg love movies?
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Except on Halloween, but then only if you change it to a spooky name variant that does not mock me in any way
Elon Musk
@elonmusk6 Nov 2022
Replying to @elonmusk
Any name change at all will cause temporary loss of verified checkmark
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Sam Malone stands inside Cheers, waving at somebody trying to enter the bar. But the door is locked. “Sorry,” he says. “We’re closed.”

ALT Sam Malone stands inside Cheers, waving at somebody trying to enter the bar. But the door is locked. “Sorry,” he says. “We’re closed.”

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