Earth day is as inscrutable as groundhog day Do they celebrate a war's end, like independence day or armistice day? If so I understand Earth day for we can easily declare victory in our war on that planet. But I do not remember any large-scale skirmishes with groundhogs Are these religious holidays then Do they require a belief in their namesake gods of earth and groundhog Because of course I acknowledge the existence of the groundhog and must count myself a believer. He eats the roots of my flowers and mocks me with his toothy snare every Saturday morning As for the earth I am an agnostic. Other than my garden I rarely see earth any more. The world is a sandblasted morass of pavement and asphalt