Here's my pitch for an all-female @FastFurious movie, "THE FEMININE FURIOUS"

This is very relevant to the question (What is there more of in the U.S., toilets or people?) I ask to candidates interviewing for a job at the hedge fund I (don’t) run:

Stay hot, Bulldogs

Tonight’s “bring her home” reveal on #TheBachelor isn’t quite up there with “swing away, Merrill” but if you adjust for how much content we have these days it’s pretty close.

The make-good dunk contest win for Aaron Gordon five years from now a la Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman plays ONLY IF it starts with him driving a car from the opposite baseline with a nervous Chris O’Donnell in the passenger seat and then he gets out and dunks blindfolded.

First Kelley, and now Andrew. All my favorite lawyers are going home too early because of some guy named Pete.

Why did no one tell me about this

Ethan Hawke was right. It’s Andy Reid’s year.

This week I’m expecting big things out of: Andy Reid Alayah on The Bachelor (I think her stock is oversold and there’s going to be a market correction) And of course @AndrewYang

Inject 10 episodes of Heat on Netflix straight into my veins. Dream cast would be: Hamm as Vincent (Pacino) Pitt as McCauley (De Niro) DiCaprio as Chris (Kilmer) McConaughey as Van Zant Renner as Waingro Momoa as Momoa (Trejo) And for Michael Shannon, the action is the juice.

Just finished the first episode of Cheer. There’s a lot of characters to like, a lot of personalities, sure. But the one who stands above the rest is the junior college professor who, when listing fun facts about Texas, leads with “home of the Quaid brothers.”

“I am graceful, [Lemon,] I was an athlete at Princeton!”

WHO’S BACK OF THE WEEK 🇮🇪

If the Trivago guy and the Capital One cafes guy had a buddy cop show where they solved exclusively hotel- and/or checking account-related crimes would you watch

When I look back at this decade, I think of all the takes. I don’t think “take” was in my vocabulary in 2009. I’m glad takes are a part of my life. Thanks, takes.

Sounds like a good episode @cnn_pitches