Me (talking to professionals): Domestic violence perpetrators don't just target physical safety. They also target self-determination and satisfaction. Social Worker: I never shared this before in professional setting but my dad tried to kill my mother when I was very young. Me: I'm sorry about that. I'm curious if you haven't shared this before why are you choosing to share this now? Social Worker: Because you said domestic violence perpetrators target more than physical safety. They also target satisfaction. My mother loved to knit and my father wouldn't let her. I saw my dad and mom in what you were saying. To many stopping someone from knitting or sewing or going for walks alone, or enjoying a moment with their family playing cards may pale in comparison to death threats, and severe violence. And still it is important to remember that #CoerciveControl is about a pattern of behaving that significantly limits someone else's ability to think, feel and act like their own person. We can't just look for bruises and marks. We need to see the way that domestic violence perpetrators steal joy and pleasure. @SafeandTogether #StopBlamingMothers #StopIgnoringFathers