Probably not the best idea to start my first steroid cycle while my girlfriend was pregnant and approaching her due date. I could blame it on the stress and fear of becoming a young father… but that’s only part of the truth. The deeper truth was my powerlessness to stop once I started — and the obsession, the faith, that drugs could give me the “ideal state” I was searching for. But it was never just about the drugs. It was about my mental state — the belief that no matter what I did, I could not stop ruminating, thinking, calculating.. There was no escape from myself. I couldn’t stand living with me, so I thought getting bigger and more muscular would bring me peace. Instead, it did the opposite — for me, and for the people I love.

My name is Jonah, otherwise known as @jmc_recovery Previously "@jmcdoesnfts" I lost 50,000$ trading memecoins while smoking marijuana and chasing numbers on a screen. That's not the life I live anymore. I am here to speak a truth, and share my personal story on recovery.