Found a pack of Japanese (I think ) skittles in the elevator. The Safety Seal appears to be entact so they’re probably safe to eat right? I wanna know what these taste like!!!

Ironic that these days I overdress for the cold! #sweater weather?

Does a scarf belong to the person who brought it to Denny’s, or the person who found it there?

crocheting helps me pay better attention, I’m actually not being rude #newsflash #habits

Thought it was 🎵 I’m so f*king grateful for my pets 🎵 LOL. Still love the song though 😂😂❤️

So after #DWTS , I realized that you can’t actually dance with stars, because fusion makes them a giant nuclear furnace. Opposite of ice. But it’s still really pretty, right?

At a silent auction do they have any way to check if people are writing their own names or someone else’s?

No more parking in LA

I got superglue on my thumb and now my @iphone won’t recognize my fingerprint #trustory

Dayyyyum. Wish I was your lovvvvah 🎼

“Fresh and full of life” What is that from?

Hope calamine lotion doesn’t stain... #summmerthoughts

How can you tell if a traffic cone is authentic or not?

Come on is an umbrella really the best we can do

No matter how much I set out to accomplish I still can’t get the spelling of Gwenyth Paltrow’s name right on the first try lol

So much to be thankful for. All that’s missing from my live now is an app for people who are too busy to tweet 😂

Yes you could pay someone to let you rename their dog(s), but how would you enforce it? #thoughtexercise

true or false: if it’s too hot to touch it’s too hot to put in your mouth #trueorfalse

Sorry I don’t tweet about events YOU find RELEVANT #feedback #itsmylife #itsnoworclever