
I'm an Australian Software Engineer, C programming communication protocols, politically engaged, 🏳️🌈 #ForeverFreo 💜 https://xitter.cf/t.co/aHSIaJLVoN
Perth, Western Australia
Joined April 2007
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Jonathon Mann retweeted
There is no such thing as "The Agile Methodology."
Jonathon Mann retweeted
No organization that’s afraid to experiment with alternative ways of working is Agile. Sorry.
Jonathon Mann retweeted
Retweet to remind the competition about this bloke's left foot 😤
#foreverfreo
Jonathon Mann retweeted
Reminder: If there had been humans on board today’s SpaceX Starship rocket to nowhere, they would all be dead 💀
Jonathon Mann retweeted
This is clinical from @freodockers.
Even more impressive when you consider the plane they arrived in didn't have any business class seats.
Jonathon Mann retweeted
semanticVersioning reddit.com/r/programmerhumor…
Jonathon Mann retweeted
Scrum is a cancer.
I've been writing software for 25 years, and nothing renders a software team useless like Scrum does.
Some anecdotes:
1. They tried to convince me that Poker is a planning tool, not a game.
2. If you want to be more efficient, you must add process, not remove it. They had us attending the "ceremonies," a fancy name for a buttload of meetings: stand-ups, groomings, planning, retrospectives, and Scrum of Scrums. We spent more time talking than doing.
3. We prohibited laptops in meetings. We had to stand. We passed a ball around to keep everyone paying attention.
4. We spent more time estimating story points than writing software. Story points measure complexity, not time, but we had to decide how many story points fit in a sprint.
5. I had to use t-shirt sizes to estimate software.
6. We measured how much it cost to deliver one story point and then wrote contracts where clients paid for a package of "500 story points."
7. Management lost it when they found that 500 story points in one project weren't the same as 500 story points on another project. We had many meetings to fix this.
8. Imagine having a manager, a scrum master, a product owner, and a tech lead. You had to answer to all of them and none simultaneously.
9. We paid people who told us whether we were "burning down points" fast enough. Weren't story points about complexity instead of time? Never mind.
I believe in Agile, but this ain't agile.
We brought professional Scrum trainers. We paid people from our team to get certified. We tried Scrum this way and that other way. We spent years doing it.
The result was always the same: It didn't work.
Scrum is a cancer that will eat your development team. Scrum is not for developers; it's another tool for managers to feel they are in control.
But the best about Scrum are those who look you in the eye and tell you: "If it doesn't work for you, you are doing it wrong. Scrum is anything that works for your team."
Sure it is.
Jonathon Mann retweeted
this is some ppl's perspective on twitter...
but i find a way to have fun anyway!
Jonathon Mann retweeted
The one on the left was labelled "Quick-thinking Foakes stumps Balbirnie". The same news site asks whether Bairstow's dismissal is “The most controversial moment of the Ashes so far?" #fairgame
Jonathon Mann retweeted
On Tuesday night Philip Lowe compared labour costs with CPI. But he forget the 32% of the economy that is profits, so I helped him out
theguardian.com/australia-ne…
Jonathon Mann retweeted
Alan Turing killed himself 69 years ago today. He broke the Nazi Enigma code in WWII, leading to victory over Hitler.
Turing was chemically castrated by the British state for being gay. His suicide warns us today of where intolerance and hatred can lead to. #PrideMonth
Jonathon Mann retweeted
Use that retweet button to show your appreciation for this man 💜
37 disposals (16 contested)
8 clearances
466 metres gained
5 i50's
#GatherRound #foreverfreo




























