the magnus archives bot

👁 welcome to the magnus bot! 👁 -- an unofficial bot for rusty quill's "the magnus archives" -- tweets quotes from tma (incl. q&as + bloopers) every hour! -- run by @meIanieking & @ichiryuukenji -- this is a wip! please feel free to dm us with suggestions 💚

(AND IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S EMBRACING HIM)

Elias? Oh, god…

For god’s sake, can he not stay safe for like, like ten minutes?

If I never hear the name Jurgen Leitner again it will be too soon.

And that would have been it. Given what happened next, I don’t think I would ever have seen Michael Crew again, if it wasn’t for the simple fact that his cheque bounced.

So my proposal for you is this: either kill me or fuck off.

I have a small jar on my desk of what are supposed to be her ashes, though I don’t believe it for a second. I think Martin just gave me a jar of dust to try and calm me down.

“Gertrude didn’t think so.” “Right.” “But she’s dead. Let’s find out for ourselves.”

“You’re really pushing it, you know that?” (audible self-satisfied smirk) “Hm. Feel free to push back. But until then, get out of my Archives.”

Statement of, uh, Lorell St. John regarding, uh… zombies.

At the end of all this, we’ve still been unable to answer one question: where was he getting the meat?

But I didn’t come here to talk about the benefits and problems of working in waste collection.

“Tim, this place is very old. It has all sorts of… idiosyncrasies and not all of them are good for the people who work here.” “I think I’d prefer asbestos.”

“You, uh, I think you threw a guy off a skyscraper in Paris.” “Hmm. Last chance for that cup of tea.”

Uh, sorry to interrupt, er, JJon’s here! And he’s— well he’s— He seems— He seems angry. Um, (splutters) I actually think he’s brought a coup—

“(gasp) Don’t move! And, don’t you come any closer, okay?! I’ve got a, I’ve got a knife!” “Do you? That would seem wildly out-of-character, from what I’ve been told.”

I believe it was not merely on that day, but at that very moment, when Wilfred fell, that the peace was finally assured.

“Eyes peeled.” “Was that a joke?” “Yeah.”

“So I got out of the spiral, and went to dinner.” (BAFFLED VOCALISATIONS)

I just received another text message. From you. “Keep him. We have had our fun. He will want to see it when the Archivist’s crimson fate arrives.”