A true crime podcast trying to solve a murder that the host definitely did

Nothing quite like trying out new material and having it work so well that you somehow know it’ll never work again.

I’ve tweeted more in the last 20 minutes than I have in months combined. Yep, you guessed it. I’m on deadline and procrastinating.

We made up an almighty father who is having to do some difficult prioritization. That’s gotta mean something

Nothing quite as humbling as seeing a friend turn on Do Not Disturb in the middle of a text convo

It’s never good when journalism depends too much on social media and algorithms because it means whole news operations end up looking at their audience like, So….what y’all want us to talk about?

“These new, casual WNBA fans need to humble themselves and acknowledge that they have a lot to learn.” -me, someone who go into the WNBA one year ago

My insurance company just emailed offering 5% off on boat insurance. Honestly a relief because the only thing keeping me from owning a boat has been that last 5% of insurance costs.

When someone sends a viral post they think I'd enjoy, it's like, "You really think I haven't seen this? I've already seen dozen of parodies of it and I'm deep in the discourse about what it all means. You underestimate the amount of time I waste and I find that disrespectful."

Mike Breen saying “Bang!” <<< Kevin Harlan saying “Metairie”

1927-1960: The Golden Age of Cinema 2000-2019: The Golden Age of Television 2022- : The Golden Age Of Hydraulic Press Videos

Most productivity podcasts and books are like, “You can accomplish more than you ever imagined. All it takes is discipline and becoming the worst person anyone has ever met.”

Say what you will about OJ but nobody interrupted Game 5 of the 1994 NBA Finals quite like him

“Death updates” is such a funny headline. Unless every few minutes they update the article to say, “Still dead.”

Chicago friends! I’m gonna be headlining next week in Oak Park at the Comedy Plex. Come hang! Tix in my bio

This is what friendship looks like. @juliepoptart is the good friend here