andrew burns

on hold for 25 minutes with @RoyalMailHelp and the operator hangs up on me when I finally get through, braw

Thanks @dpd_support I’ve been waiting for this @BrewDog delivery specifically for today’s agm but apparently it’s been sent back to them with no explanation

Hit export on a video and go to my phone while that’s going in the background. Look up twenty minutes later. Zero progress. I didn’t hit export.

Imagine someone’s playing guitar and you shout ‘Freebird!’ That would be hilarious. Great banter that.

Hope everyone had a really rough few years

My midlife crisis will be when I start walking up stairs like a sane person rather than sprinting up, 5 at a time for some fucking reason

Thirty seconds into #TheApprentice and I’m already sure I hate half of the competitors

Been a while since I bought a PC game on launch day. Lesson learned! Was really looking forward to playing Blair Witch but looks like that’s not happening until it gets fixed.

Midsommar was a fucking trip. Really enjoyed being unnerved for the entire movie. Would’ve enjoyed it a lot more if the cinema wasn’t filled with dipshits laughing uncontrollably at the sight of nudity but oh well

My overpriced @virginmedia fibre is so patchy that I can’t even open their website to complain

Go to pick up a game I haven’t played for almost a year and in that time the devs wiped all save files. So I’ve lost 20 hours of progress and need to start again. 👲

OG Fat Motherfucker From Outer Space

Wondered why I couldn’t use a bunch of adobe apps when I was paying for them. Turned out I’ve been signed into the wrong account for months now. I’m a dipshit but so happy it’s sorted now!

Accidentally booked a train twice so @thetrainline charge me £10 to get a refund

I ordered a lamp on Amazon solely because I can get same day delivery. We are truly living in the future.

I’ve just been asked, as I’m walking along the road, if a man could hitchhike with me. Did he think I was a car?

Golden boi instagram.com/p/BqzXjDwFBa0/…