ALT ELFBALL When a visiting cadre of dark elves witnessed the majesty of orcball, they decided that they wanted to try it out themselves - but elves are far more fragile than orcs, and their love of poetry and complex social mores meant that they needed a suitable alternative. After recruiting some of the most popular orcball players with sleep poison, they developed a set of rules for what they believed to be a superior sport. Elfball boasts the longest and least useful rulebook ever written. For safety purposes, it has been split into three parts, each sealed within a portable demiplane within a magical amulet defended by a subterranean ancestor spirit. There is one regulation ball and it sits on an obsidian plinth in a nameless temple; the offside rules, when read aloud, summon a demon; every player is legally married to every other player; the location of the goals are alluded to in religious texts that were written before the creation of the rules. Elfball has never been played; to do