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the lament of autumn team felt like we hadn’t suffered enough, so they posted two new diary entries from yepingjun, written to yuchangxuan, about the passing of the years and her life with baby xiaoyuer after he was gone 😭 the full entries: diary entry 1#: “ever since we parted, i have traveled southwest with my eldest sister-in-law, fourth sister, and the children, following the organization’s relocation. the place where we are stationed is filled with blooming kapok flowers. they are as red as the maple leaves of fengtai, and even after they fall, their colors do not fade, nor do they wither. today, i took little yu’er to plant a sapling. i told him, “when the leaves of this tree turn red, daddy will come home.” we are living well here. all i wish is for you to be safe. written by yepingjun, in the twenty-second year of the republic of china (1933).” diary entry 2#: “by the time i returned to nanhuai, autumn had already arrived. i joined the efforts to rebuild nanhuai, and today, i finally found a moment to write you a letter. the xiangxi hotel has lost all its former splendor, and everywhere i look, there is nothing but devastation. the people we once knew have either departed or scattered, and all the love and hatred of the past have faded away. of the promise we both made beneath the crimson autumn leaves, i am the only one who came to keep it. looking back on the past, on the tangled ties that bound us for half a lifetime, it all feels like an autumn dream, one that vanished without leaving a trace. after being tossed about so many times in this chaotic world, in the end, all i ever wanted was to return to your side. when i count the years carefully, i realize that the time we truly spent loving each other amounted to only a few fleeting years. if there is another life, i hope we can meet again as different people, at the right time. by yepingjun” ** in the original script, it was while pingjun was in nanhuai helping people affected by the war, as she mentions here in the second entry, that she found the house filled with her favorite flowers, with an injured yuchangxuan tending to them. this feels like adding salt to the wound bye 😭😭😭