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scott thiede

@swthiede

writer/comedian • ucb performer • doesn’t need hateration in the dancery, although holleration may be acceptable on a case by case basis • he/him • bi 🏳️‍🌈

 Los Angeles, CA
Joined January 2010
  • Tweets5.1K
  • Following1K
  • Followers2.8K
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Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)Photo by scott thiede (@swthiede)
Love to touch computer all day for money
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scott thiede@swthiede20 Oct 2022
Love to touch computer all day for money
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I just learned that cuckoo, Dee Dee, and sing sing are all movies out rn
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Only reason gay people go to hell is cuz Satan is gay and wants his way with all of us
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even Amazon recognizes everything I buy from them is a mistake
Image from scott thiede (@swthiede)
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Lady Gaga: “when I was young, I prayed for lightning” Me, a former lifeguard: “yassss”
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New Years is the calendar’s birthday 😌
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What’s hotter than infrastructure? NOTHIN’! Hear @garrettpalm and @swthiede chat with @Ocarinaofcrime about Table Top games, Pokemon, and Cities Skylines on episode 268.
Image from Video Games: A Comedy Show (@vgacomedyshow)
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scott thiede@swthiede4 Mar 2023
In England do they call them poker crisps?
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I do art for art’s sake (hearing people tell me my art is good)
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Jesus has the longest refractory period of any guy I know
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BECAUSE IT’S TAKEN HIM SO LONG TO COME A SECOND TIME OMG COME ON THIS IS GOLD
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Catholics are just guilt different 💪🏼😔
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can’t stop chasing that ‘Trump has covid’ feeling
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Why is there traffic? Don’t they know I’m bout to shit my pants?!?
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no YOU’RE singing freak a leak alone in the back of a Lyft
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some friends are just impossible to pin down tiktok.com/t/ZT82aWJa9/
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I miss T9 and how it would take so long I got to rethink sending that shit
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Taylor swift brings people together. Until they get in their cars after the concert and commit war crimes leaving the parking lot
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I see @EKTwrites is keeping writers hours tonight
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the names bond, trauma bond
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