Husband Father Twitch Streamer Instructor at Morehead State University Writer 100% Dead Inside
Morehead, KY
Joined August 2010
- Tweets2.8K
- Following593
- Followers257
- Likes1.1K
I swear raising a teen in extra curricular activities is like living in my car while being struck with anxiety of someone who just had complete memory loss.
Man, these people I live around almost get sexually excited when something goes awry and they can say the phrase "See? This is the end of the world."
I stepped on the elevator and saw casting call for the play Antigone. I said “Anti-gone? Isn’t that just here?” No one said anything and I wished nothing more than the elevator to plummet.
You ever just want to know what ever happened to that kid that really liked his trapper keeper?
It’s me.
I look at ‘leather folios’ and think ‘what a sick adult trapper keeper’
Sometimes I have to remind myself that it isn't normal to have a filing system in your head labeled "[Friend's Name] Lore".
Today a person informed me that they wash their face with honey, and I, a person that would rather cut of his hands than to be sticky internally panicked and almost blurted “Wet and sticky is very icky. Sticky and wet makes mommy upset.”
Sometime I mess up my kids names on purpose to create a worry that either I don’t love them or I’m getting dementia. #justdadthings
Today I had a lot of time in my office to sit and do something productive and instead I've just wasted time and I'm not too happy about it.
I really thought remembering the vaccine I was getting was going to mean I’d get to meet up with all the other people that got the same shot. I guess I’ll drink all this myself.