Author of Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell and The Worst Noel on Kindle, Nook and iBooks.
@stephens_pt
Joined January 2015
- Tweets124K
- Following1.4K
- Followers1.7K
- Likes729
Pinned Tweet
A showdown between the world's most clueless detective and most sophisticated AI.
The worlds first novel for Twitter, now revised and on sale in pocket paperback.
amazon.com/dp/1732997306
#fiction #NOIR #scifi #darkhumor #humor #TweetNovel
Sermon on the Mount v. Insult from the White House
#MAGA #DonaldTrump #Jesus #ChristianRight #Hypocrisy
ALT For where your treasure is there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21)
How to keep our children Christian. It's easier than you think.
#MAGA #Religion #Christianity #Schools #FirstAmendment
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are supplied by people who posted on Reddit about the Deep State and Dark Web about the divinity of Trump and his cruel treatment by the courts. They are now employed by the White House to make their posts official.
…Green, Gray, and Mindless Hulk approached the Vegas suburbs, their rage registering 9.6 on the Richter scale. Out of nowhere, She Hulk appeared. “Have you boys had enough?”
“Hulk love.”
“Hulk love more.”
“Hulk love most.”
She wagged a finger. “As if.”
Hulks sulked. #TwtStory
…Mindless Hulk, Green Hulk, and Gray Hulk leveled Lost Angeles and turned south through Anaheim, and Long Beach, straight through San Diego then west toward Las Vegas. Only Guilt Hulk stood at the border. “Don’t you feel remorse?”
They flattened him and kept on going… #TwtStory
…Green and Gray Hulk calmed down after leveling Marvel Comics, DC Comics, and Pixar Studios.
“Hulk tired.”
“Hulk tired.”
“Hulk let live.”
“Hulk let live.”
And so they declared a truce and turned to leave.
Only Mindless Hulk arrived, and nothing could calm him down… #TwtStory
…It started as a rumble in an auto park and escalated to all out war. Two Hulks. One green. One gray. Their rage intensified with each blow. Like two giant Tasmanian devils in heat. They approached Marvel Studios. Stan Lee told his writers, “Rewrite! Pronto!…” #TwtStory
Hulk leaped from roof to roof venting his permanent rage. The sun glistened off his green skin. He landed in an auto shop parking lot. So did Gray Hulk. Hulk puffed his chest. “Hulk smash.”
Gray Hulk puffed his chest. “Hulk smash.”
Good thing auto shops have insurance… #TwtStory
Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 10: Generates ideas for longer, publishable stories. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
What were you saying about critical race theory?
#DonaldTrump #MAGA #ChristianNationalism #CivilRights #Justice
“Lady Madeline leaned into Derek Storm, bosom swelling with anticipation. ‘Without you the evil bankers would’ve taken my title and kingdom.’
‘No thanks needed.’”
My wife interrupted to say the bank called about our overdue mortgage. I wish we could write happy endings in life.
I showed my client the pictures of his wife with the pool boy. He signed the check and asked for a divorce lawyer. Then I showed the pictures of him with his secretary to his wife. You’d hope people would be smart enough to not involve middlemen, but then I wouldn’t get paid.
Women get so touchy about the little things. Like this morning when I asked my wife why she needed a fifth breast. Four was plenty. Razor sharp claws sprang from her fingers and she pounced. They say alien divorces get messy. But she couldn’t hurt me. Alien prenups are iron clad.
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by minimum wage stoners reading messages from tea leaves and riffing until they can type.
So, the king threw a banquet with all his knights in attendance. The wine and mead flowed freely, and soon so did our tongues. I asked the King who was sleeping with the queen. In the dungeon, they told me he didn’t mind my comment, but that I was the knight sleeping with her.
Kitty and I took breakfast at the Buckhorn Saloon. But the waiter served me biscuits with gravy not biscuits and gravy. Unforgivable. Kitty asked what’s the difference. So did the server. So, I shot him. Kitty got a pass. She’s the only member of the gang who can read and write.
