Ron Stampler

When I want a good laugh I watch Death of a Salesman. That guy was such a loser. I would have done his job much better.

Here at the Ron Stampler Twitter account, we promise you that once a month or so you’ll see a tweet on your timeline and say to yourself, “that guy is really milking this bit, huh”

Evil men are chasing me. They want to sell me vacuum cleaners.

According to my doctors, I am immune to every sickness. They call it “too cool for school” syndrome. However, I think school is important.

I met a man named Ston Rampler yesterday. We had a duel at high noon. I killed him. I feel terrible.

Give me an R! Give me an O! Give me an N! Give me a space! Give me an S! Give me a T! Give me an A! Give me an M! Give me a P! Give me an L! Give me an E! Give me an R!

Who up ronning they stampler

// Heartwarming: This Ron Stampler parody account still tweets like it’s 2024

Happy new year. Retweet if you cried.

There once was a man named Ron Stampler

I’m a good boy.

“6 7”

In the lake. straight up “catching it”. And by “it”, haha, well. Let’s just say. My dinner.

Alas, poor Henry. I knew him, Darryl.

Living the sparkling water life. #LaCroixforLife #BlessedByTheLord #SavedByJesusChrist #JoinYourLocalChurchToday #AdmissionToHeavenIsFree

I’m 300 days sober off coffee.

I’m ready for the big ride baby. As long as it doesn’t lead through a portal again. #StillRecoveringFromThoseTraumaticEvents #ILoveMySonTerryStampler

Wow, the fish sure are #biting today. Please stop. Please stop biting it hurts

Big tuna