So many Hockey Geeks infecting our PERFECT sport, by bringing their "Mathematics" into a sport where decisions are made on the spot. Watching hockey Dorks is a very SAD experience, as these Losers try to turn our Incredible Sport into a Calculus Equation. Perhaps these LOSERS should go and apply to NASA, where their Lousy Resumes will very Rapidly find their way into the Paper Shredders. WEAK! Thank you for your attention to this matter. NHL President Donald J. Trump

Tremendous response from the beautiful Buffalo Sabres this afternoon, following their very BAD performance on Saturday. GREAT AMERICAN Tage Thompson is perhaps the Single Most UNDERRATED player in the National Hockey League, and already has Four Big, Beautiful, Goals, in the very young season. Strangely, the floundering Florida Panthers are not looking very Strong, and should not be using Injuries as an Excuse under any Circumstances, as the supposedly powerful Panthers have a very Deep Roster. Much BETTER from the beautiful Buffalo Sabres! Thank you for your attention to this MATTER! NHL PRESIDENT DONALD JOHN TRUMP

I am very disappointed to declare the Colorado Avalanche as the NHL's most OVERRATED team, following their horrible loss tonight to the Toronto Maple Losers. Last season, the Avs lost to the Maple Losers as well, and Sadly CHOKED like Total Dogs against my GREAT friend John Tortorella and the Vegas Golden Knights, in one of the more humiliating sweeps in History. Jared Bednar should be ASHAMED of himself! Thank you for your attention to this MATTER! NHL President Donald John Trump

The Colorado Avalanche are 20 minutes away from your favorite NHL President OFFICIALLY declaring them the most OVERRATED team in the National Hockey League. Terrible job against a horrendous hockey team so far, and brutal Blackwood has played like a TOTAL LOSER. Zero credit to the Toronto Maple Losers, who have 12 shots on goal in two periods. Sad! Thank you for your attention to this MATTER! NHL President DJT

Always comical viewing pitiful Paul Bissonnette on the TNT Panel, alongside his Total Superiors, who unlike pitiful Paul have IQs North of 80. Tonight, "the dumbest Man in Hockey," is alongside Anson Carter and Bruce Cassidy, and looks very Stupid as usual. Pitiful Paul couldn't tie Anson Carter's skatelaces in terms of hockey skill, and he is so LOW IQ, he couldn't coach a Children's House League team to a Championship, unlike beautiful Butch Cassidy. DUMB! Thank you for your attention to this matter. NHL President Donald J. Trump

Congratulations to the Highly Talented Macklin Celebrini, of the San Jose Sharks, for his very Bigly new contract in the Once Great State of California. Sadly for losin' Leo Carlsson, he remains the most OVERPAID player in the National Hockey League, because unlike Leo, Macklin has proven that he is FAR ABOVE a point a game. All Canadian Hockey Talent MUST LEGALLY IMMIGRATE to our vastly superior Country in order to Hoist a Stanley Cup, and quite Frankly, All of Canada, excluding FAKE FRANCE, should be our wonderful 51st State. The ONLY way any team from Communist Canada will EVER win another Stanley Cup. Very SIMPLE! Thank you for your ATTENTION to this MATTER! NHL PRESIDENT DONALD JOHN TRUMP