Perthshire Beef and Sheep Farmer, Stand Up Comedian & Comedy Writer

Joined January 2014
The last men's UEFA club final with 11 starters of one nationality facing 11 of another was the 1987 UEFA Cup final. Dundee Utd's 11 Scots 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Vs 🇸🇪 IFK Göteborg's 11 Swedes. It happened in 14 UEFA finals, including Celtic in 1967, Rangers in 1972 & Aberdeen's 1983 Super Cup.
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Trees 🌳 have been the original climate tech and carbon capture machinery for 370 million years. No venture capital. No government wealth transfer to corporations. No rare-earth minerals being plundered. No 3-mile-long industrial vacuum cleaner hoovering up carbon dioxide. Just sunlight, water, photosynthesis, carbon capture, flood protection, wildlife habitat and a quiet determination to reduce temperatures. They pull carbon out of the air like it’s their day job. They shade the pavement so cities don’t bake. They drop local temperatures. They breath out oxygen for us to breathe and create a place for birds to live as a bonus. Governments have spent billions trying to invent a machine that does a fraction of what a 200-year-old oak has been casually doing since before we invented the wheel. The most powerful climate technology already exists. We just keep cutting it down. Plant more trees. Protect the ones still standing. Trees are the most natural, long lasting, multi purpose and cost effective infrastructure of them all. But sadly, government facilitated money transfers to corporations doesn’t grow on trees.
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14 years ago today, Andy Murray finally ended the United Kingdom's 76 year wait for a men's singles major winner by winning the US Open. Will always remember staying up to watch this, knowing for a fact I was witnessing a moment in sporting history. 👑
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Jim Smith retweeted
That’s good to know! 🥩 🇬🇧
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We did not deserve 1984.
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We fucked it. Humans have got to be the most short-sighted, weak, stupid creatures - greedy enough to fuck up our only home.
The UN has updated their climate report, warning that humans have lost the chance to reverse the worst damage of climate change.
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Net Zero for us. Massive energy consumption for big tech and their data centres. Data centre energy consumption is outracing total global electricity demand growth by more than 400%. In 2025 alone, global electricity consumption for AI-focused sites surged by 50%. In 2025, data centres absorbed approximately 50% of all new electricity demand in the United States.
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Jim Smith retweeted
Rangers co owner got found in a cave in rural southern America with 15 Thai prostitutes, a donkey and 50 litres of olive oil and somehow we’ve still had a more embarrassing week
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Taking my WIP show to the fringe this Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at the brilliant @thestand Stand 3 , 2pm. I've organised rain so all you fermers can come See you there ! edfringe.com/tickets/whats-o…
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Nico Williams gives his world cup gold medal to his mom, who crossed the Sahara desert in search for a better life while pregnant with his older brother...
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Best day in the farming calendar!
Luck was with us and we made hay while the sun shined ☀️😎🍀🍀🍀
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One of the best of the day....
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you've gotta be more afraid of wasting your life than embarrassing yourself
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The last competitive game where Spain lost in 90 minutes 👇🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
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Would anyone happen to have a reasonably priced stopover available for a shearer and a rousy on their way from Oban to Dalwhinnie, tomo night? Both fab, courteous and great craic. Anything considered, TIA! – at Easter Moniack, Scotland
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Whats going happen in the winter when its baltic are the players going to stop for a cup a soup and crusty bread 😂😂
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15ish years ago, Norway realised they were failing at football due to the lack of accessible pitches for kids to play. So they invested heavily & built more throughout the country- now look at them Scotland? Pitches padlocked, or pay upwards of £60 for 60 mins COMMON SENSE!!!!
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Get your Belgian chocolate now before the tariffs hit.
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I am OBSESSED with this sentence: “A head full of fears has no space for dreams.” damn.
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