Since my departure from the televised grand spectacle, I have been thoroughly engulfed in an absolute maelstrom of relentless activity. Our peregrinations have ferried us across a multitude of exotic, ultramontane realms, wherein we experienced the profound jubilation of reconvening with long-estranged compatriots. Concurrently, I have surrendered my intellect to the voracious consumption of dense, hermetic tomes, immersing myself in the labyrinthine intricacies of highly recondite and intellectually stimulating subject matters. In a plurality of dimensions, my current state of existential industriousness vastly eclipses any prior epoch of my life. It’s been really cool.

🔥 🚒 The TTRPG table used to be sacred ground. It was the one place you could leave the exhausting, polarized grind of the real world at the door, sit down with a crew, and actually build something collaborative. But lately, there is a terminal rot creeping into the hobby, and it’s being dragged in by tourists who don’t want to play a game, they want a stage for their political theater. We have a strict, non- negotiable no politics rule at the club. You come to roll dice, to explore the world, and to survive the campaign. But the social atrophy of the last few years has bred a loud, hyper defensive segment of people who physically cannot function without forcing their ideological baggage into every single breath. They are locked in a perpetual state of bad faith combat. You can sit at the table and say, "I like waffles," and these folks will instantly slam their hands down and scream, "Oh, so you hate pancakes?!" It is completely exhausting, and I am entirely done accommodating it. Just recently, I had to bounce a guest from the table who simply refused to respect that basic boundary. And what happens when you tell these perpetually online actors "no"? They don't reflect. They don't apologize. They immediately resort to extreme character assassination. Because I enforced a rule of conduct to protect the peace of a space I built, I was suddenly branded an "evil Nazi" and targeted with threats to "do damage" to my venue. They spat the term "Old Guard" at me like it was the ultimate insult. Let me be crystal clear: I wear "Old Guard" as a badge of absolute honor. Since cracking open my first box set in the late 70s, I have poured decades of blood, sweat, and capital into this hobby. I’ve painted the terrain, organized the long running campaigns, and transitioned our operations into a private gaming sanctuary specifically to protect the game from this exact kind of invasion. This behavior is a direct symptom of the spectator era of tabletop gaming. The mainstreaming of the hobby didn't create a massive wave of new players, it created a wave of passive consumers. We are dealing with people who treat the game like a trendy lifestyle brand, wearing the logo like a fashion statement while expecting the table to cater to their personal performative fan fiction. They don’t want the grit of a real system or the camaraderie of a shared world. They want a captive audience. And when they realize the table isn't about them and their real world grievances, they lash out and try to burn the room down. Well, you aren't burning down my room. The spaces we've built are fortified against this nonsense. The table is a place for escapism, for rolling crits and suffering the consequences of the dice. If your primary goal in picking up a character sheet is to virtue signal, pick fights, and turn the game into your personal soapbox, find another venue. The tourists can keep their spectator sports and their outrage. The real gamers are busy playing. RANT OVER 🤘 #OldGuard #ProtectTheTable #TTRPG #OSR #OldSchoolRPG #NoPoliticsJustDice #DiceNotDrama #TabletopGaming #ActualPlay #GamingSanctuary #SpectatorFandom #SavageSorcery #TheNerdShed #SundayCrew #JustPlayTheGame 🧙‍♂️🪄⚡

Confessor Pike advice, please heed it.

The same people who hate Elon for making a flying car hate all your more ordinary passions and joys. You’re not exempt because you dream quieter dreams. And the people who are outraged when something has no utilitarian purpose also hate your refusal to frame happiness and beauty in economic terms. You’re not allowed to opt out of the cubicle farm; God forbid you find meaning in something outside the rat race. Some things you do for yourself, not for money and not for other people…and when you do, you create evidence of an individual beating heart that does not bow to the great gray crowd, and some people will never forgive you for it. Do your mad beautiful thing anyway.

つまりね 「『冒険』というのは 金と目的と教養がある人間にのみ許された『娯楽』」 なのだから 冒険者に「冒険」をやらせたかったら 貴方の創作物では、金と目的と教養がある人間を冒険者にすればいい ハッハァ！　憧れは止められねえんだ！

New B&W line art for an old school monster. Stats? Abilities?

#RollForInitiative but I don't think it will matter...

Here is one of my greatest creations for roleplaying games. I came up with it in the 1980s. As far as I know it has never been published officially anywhere. But it ought to be. It is, of course, the Spot Obvious roll. In any roleplaying game, there comes a time when you, the gamemaster are rolling your eyes because your players are being idiots. Why can't they see it? Here are four examples: EXAMPLE ONE: the giant fire elemental stands directly under a loose, cracked water tower held up by rotting wooden pillars. Your players only see a DPS race. They cast spells or hit the elemental with swords, ignoring the environment. EXAMPLE TWO: the crumbling cavern has a clear stream of water flowing out through a wide crack in the back wall. Your players see only the dead end. They stand their ground and fight waves of infinite monsters. EXAMPLE THREE: while tossing the bad guy's apartment, they find a calendar with May 3 marked off with the word "Roodmas" in red letters. Now the players wonder when the Big Cult Festival will be? Maybe May 1st? could it be May 10th, Mother's Day, because the cult worships the foul Mother of a Thousand Young? Argh. EXAMPLE FOUR: there is a stone door with a giant keyhole. On the table is a giant key. The players decide it's a magical puzzle and spend 45 minutes casting Detect Magic, checking for traps, trying to pick the lock with a dagger, and ignoring the literal key. This actually happened to me. We've all been there. Spot Obvious is my solution to keep play moving. When I am amazed the players are being idiots, I call for a Spot Obvious. The players roll against their INT x5. But here's the trick - THE CHARACTER SUCCEEDS IF HE FAILS THE INT ROLL. In other words, the stupidest characters have the best chance for a Spot Obvious! My logic here is threefold. First, it matches real life. Often it's the smart guy who overthinks things. Second, it's hilarious. Third, suddenly the character with an INT of 8 becomes useful in the logic puzzle. Now you may say, "Well Sandy, the GM is partly to blame in these cases because they're used to you typically overthinking puzzles." That's a fair accusation. But even if I screwed up, we still have to get past the obstacle! You don't have to unlock everything with a Spot Obvious. For instance, say the party just defeated a goblin ambush and they're wondering where the goblins are coming from. I can call for a Spot Obvious and when/if they succeed, I say, "Remember, you actually have a wounded goblin prisoner from the fight." Then they go, "Oh yeah. Let's question him." Then there's roleplaying involved - it's not just handed to them on a silver platter. Best of all if they all fail the Spot Obvious (it has happened), then I just sit smugly. The players know they are missing something plain and unmistakable and it drives them nuts for a while. Often they can figure it out just from that. Even if they don't, their angst is highly entertaining so we're all having fun. Go forth and prosper.