Woke up this morning to utter shock!!! I looked in the mirror and it’s still me. Where is this new year new me!

“I don’t know why these kids bring their purses, they don’t pay for Sh**…. Told you, I choose violence today”. — wife. Great start to my vacation.. lol 😂

With Easter this weekend I have something for all the parents to contemplate. How can kids pick up 100 eggs in like 90 seconds, but it takes them a month to pick up their toys!!

Welcome to our family my beautiful little grand daughter. I was already so lucky to have my two amazing daughters and now I have you!

Question. Do I need to count any calories if I huff my daughters fruit loop bag? #AskingForAFriend

In honor of 50 years of a world that has provide so much happiness, here is a great some great words that has help me. I hope it helps you.

Did you realize that when it is tomorrow it is still today.

Me “Siri, what is the forecast today” Siri “This is Texas, your guess is as good as mine”.

Um. I do not feel like I saved any money.

This is scary.

The hardest part about showering after working in the yard all day is washing the tan lines away.

Have you ever been in the middle of a knock knock joke and hope it ends with “here is your pizza”.

This is some of the best advice I have heard in a while. youtu.be/OKJImnk-gzQ

⁦@PflugervilleTX⁩ I noticed ⁦@KVUE⁩ reported the water boil advisory has been lifted for Pflugerville. Can you please confirm? Thank you.

I think they broke thermostat in Texas... for some reason it is set to frozen.

This is awesome.

Even though it’s raining here in Austin, it feels like a beautiful day.