Syed K. Jamal

The older you get, the more comfortable you become being who you really are. This is a gift. You learn what’s worth stressing over and what to let go. You start to own your seat. A guide for midlife: 1. The world is crazy. The best way to stay grounded is to find people & things that matter to you and give them your all. 2. Don’t put off health. It’s easy to prioritize everything else, but neglecting health will come back to get you. 3. Consistency over intensity. This applies in work, leisure, relationships, & craft. Show up over & over again, and good things tend to happen. 4. Success is for you to define. Determine your values. Live in alignment with them. 5. Achievement can be important, but the journey—the process—needs to be fulfilling, otherwise no mountaintop will be enough. 6. The people with whom you surround yourself shape you, so choose wisely. 7. Be kind to yourself amidst adversity. It’s hard to be a human. It’s hard to do hard things. Don’t make it harder by beating yourself up all the time. 8. The world is increasingly polarized. Stand up for your values & what is true, set boundaries with people who are assholes, and carry on. 9. Skipping sleep is not a productivity hack, it’s foolish. Do everything you can to get good sleep, but also: don’t freak out when you can’t. 10. It is almost always better to be kind than it is to be clever. 11. Prioritize being truly known by your friends, family, and community over being a celebrity on the internet. 12. Ask yourself if you’re using technology or if technology is using you. Do this often. Adjust accordingly. 13. You can wake up feeling bad & still have a good day. Just get started & give yourself a chance. 14. Normalize saying “I don’t know enough to have an opinion on that.” Those are 10 of the most underrated words. 15. Feel how you feel, but learn to detach from it. You can feel happy & sad, hope & despair, excited & nervous all in the same day. 16. Confidence comes from evidence. Self belief only works if you give yourself reason to believe. 17. Money matters, but only to a point. Figure out what that point is for you & abandon the need to keep up with the Joneses. 18. Think of identity like a house: If one part of your identity floods or catches fire, it’s helpful to have other rooms where you can seek refuge. Diversify your sense of self. 19. There is no greater trap than thinking the accomplishment of some goal is going to fulfill you. What will fulfill you is the person you become along the way. I write about this often because it’s one of the truest things I know. 20. Excellence. Intimacy. Love. All the things we long for require attention. The quality of your attention shapes the quality of your life. Protect it. 21. I’ve found being a parent the most exhausting joy there is, but you can have a great life with or without being a parent. There are so many paths to a great life. 22. Tell the truth. Even, & perhaps especially, when it’s hard. 23. Change is inevitable. Be ready for it. 24. It is never too late to change your life’s trajectory or start something new. 25. You only get one life. Be yourself and go all the way.