Counterpoint: You didn’t “civilize” your boyfriend, he satiated your neuroticism. Women are more neurotic, thus less tolerant of certain things not going their way, like social niceties or home decor. I AM this woman! I make my boyfriend’s life prettier and cleaner, but this is largely for my benefit. I don’t need to flatter myself by thinking my neuroticism is a superior sensibility that civilizes degenerate men. This is important because it prevents me from being resentful when some of these preferences aren’t met. Instead of thinking my partner “uncivilized”, I realize we have different preferences and sensitivities for those preferences going unmet. Men generally care less about how suitcases are packed or whether their towel is on the floor, so they give in when women do. If both sides are reasonable, both will benefit—no self-righteousness necessary. This moralized conceptualization of what are essentially basic sex differences encourages women to think of themselves as long-suffering under-appreciated saints, which is an unpleasant mindset and makes the reality of a relationship seem unduly negative.