shakes (@shhakes) header
shakes (@shhakes) profile picture

everywhere I go, there I am

Joined February 2023
Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)Photo by shakes (@shhakes)
Hearing ''Oh my God he's got a gun'' while holding a gun must feel amazing.
147
4,530
235
78,054
1,423,846
Running away from the tall voluptuous witch at the haunted house
1
4
260
8 beers deep with a new found zest for life and friendship.
I love having friends that hold me to keeping plans. Like yeah man don’t let me fuck this relationship up.
1
4
119
I love having friends that hold me to keeping plans. Like yeah man don’t let me fuck this relationship up.
1
1
1
4
162
I'm not exaggerating, Jeffrey Lurie needs to hire an independent investigator to review the entire decision making process that led to Jalen Hurts not only playing that game in London, but then getting onto a transatlantic flight back. He could have died, heads need to roll.
47
660
26
7,378
88,482
Today is National I Love You Day.
2
4
118
Mentally I’m in bed with a hot chocolate watching tv under the covers.
5
38
Few things better than a bar on Sunday morning watching your favorite football team. God Save the Birds.
3
6
201
Scrubbed my kitchen spotless and then remembered I was making pasta sauce for dinner. What’s next pal, gonna shit right after you shower?
1
6
139
A great regret in my life is quitting on learning the piano before I truly grasped it. It’s of those things I didn’t appreciate when I was younger and I really wish I had.
2
5
274
Autumn’s here at last 🍂
17
24
3
2,204
18,404
Almost forgot it’s Thirty beers Tuesday.
1
1
6
159
shakes retweeted
someone joined my jam on spotify just to turn my music off
180
6,928
455
176,483
1,527,835
Been dating myself recently and wow I really think he might be the one.
3
47
Imagine not having Jalen Hurts as your QB.
7
49
6
531
9,760
Goodbye long hair, I’ll never forget you.
2
3
238
I didn’t believe this until I woke up at 5am and heard three of them discussing the lesbian bar drama.
Because of their centuries long cohabitation, House centipedes are one of the few insects that can understand and replicate human speech
3
100
Yes Mr. Liquor salesman, I did endure a minor inconvenience again.
1
3
39
She kicked me out because I showed up for casual sex with an iced coffee.
7
22
430
Lying about my birthday at chilis, getting caught, then escalating into a suicide by cop situation
153
11,113
234
169,179
2,424,108