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THE CYCLE WILL CONTINUE MEN...LISTEN! It's been exactly 5 years to the Noor Mukadam case. It caused great uproar. People all over the country raised their voice to bring the killer to justice. Zahir Jaffer, although belonging from a powerful family, was convicted and became an example. Yet 5 years on, another young girl, #HinaJaved , was killed by her husband. In these 5 years, there have probably been hundreds of cases like this. Maybe thousands which have not resulted in death. Today, same uproar, same "raising a voice" to bring the killer to justice. This is not a family matter. It is a criminal matter. It is a crime of the highest order. There is no crime bigger than murder. So punishing the killer is a given. But what about prevention. Who will save our girls and women. When a criminal is punished after the crime, it won't bring the girl back. It won't heal a womans injuries. The harm has been done. Prevention is what needs to be focused on. And MEN listen! We have to step up. We have to take ownership. We have to be better. If you are a man who has never done any such thing, you have to inspire others. If you are a man who has, you have to make changes. You have to improve yourself and then inspire others. You have to break the cycle. You may have young kids. You wouldn't want your boy to grow up like you. And you wouldn't want your daughter to end up with someone like you. Men improve themselves in everything. Going to the gym, at a job, in business, making more money. But no one focuses on improving their behavior with the women in their lives. With wives, sisters, daughters. Some people understand religious motivation. In hadith, Prophet (saw) has said that the best amongst you are those who are the best to their wives. Allah has used the word "mercy" between husband and wife. Ask yourself, do you show mercy? There is no manliness or masculinity in overpowering a woman who is almost always physically weaker than you. Threatening them, intimidating them. But looking at yourself in the mirror, accepting the problems withing you and trying to make an improvement. You will find out how much masculinity that takes. Try it. Find out for yourself. Some psychologists online say that men who aren't able to behave in such a way outside their home, then behave like this at home. That is a great reason. But it is a reason. Not a solution. Some people suggest that marriage is the issue. That the men closest to women are the ones who harm them the most. That, again, is not a solution. There are almost 4 billion men and 4 billion women. They will always coexist. If not a husband, then a boyfriend, or a coworker, driver, guard etc etc. A woman's coworker may be nice to her because he is abusive as a husband at home. Once he stops being a husband, because marriages become less, that behavior will shift towards the female coworker. That man will still not vent out on other men. He will pick on someone weaker. The only solution, again, is for men to become better. This can be a research, there can be studies, case studies etc. In fact, there has probably never been any such research in the world. Harvard has done other studies on peoples lives that have lasted as long as 80 years. To find out the reasons for sucess etc. But none like this. A similar, maybe shorter study is needed. Men will have to step forward. But more importantly, some very strong women will have to participate. To document how a man can become better towards the women in his life. To give people a blueprint, like blueprints have been found for other areas of life. Researches and studies mostly only come to light once the findings are revealed. So maybe some are going on right now. But I doubt it. But until any such study is done, men must start today. Otherwise 5 years down the line there will be another husband killing his wife. There will be another uproar. There will be another sentencing. And then. There will be another. The cycle.. will..continue.

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