sasha

before diagnosing yourself with ‘avoidant attachment’, remind yourself that loving your alone time, being selective with who you engage with, and opening up at a very slow pace are all perfectly valid ways of being.

if you’re not ready to look honestly at your patterns, learn conflict resolution, and be willing to be wrong sometimes, you’re not relationship ready.

abandoning yourself for the sake of someone else is self-harm.

normalize a relationship ending without making the other person wrong. sometimes things just don’t work out, they don’t align, they aren’t a fit. people grow apart. no one has to be demonized. it’s all good and it’s all divine.

make sure a yes to someone else is not a no to yourself.

you cannot set a boundary and take care of someones feelings at the same time.

saying yes when you want to say no is one of the most common ways we self-abandon.

whether you’re in a relationship or not in a relationship, your happiness will always be an inside job. success, money, love…all great, but only the cherry on top to the contentment you feel inside.

uncouple the idea that love is pain. pain causes pain. trauma causes pain. fear causes pain. not love. love is the purest thing on earth.

most books, movies, and songs about love are junk-food. rom-com conditioning is not reality. change your internal wiring to see a change in your love life.

it’s okay to be selective with who you let into your world. not everyone can be responsible with your heart. trust is earned, not freely given.

make no human being your higher power. unrealistic expectations of people will have you breaking your own heart. people are beautiful but flawed.

‘leaning back’ in dating doesn’t mean to do nothing. it simply means you do not chase. you can still be enthusiastic, reciprocal, and show emotion. still be yourself. just keep anxious/clinging/expecting energy in check.

(2/2) maybe you are just human and the human experience involves pain and the only sane thing is to let it be what it is.

(1/2) maybe you don’t have an “abandonment wound.” maybe the natural pain felt when someone leaves you is not a pathology, especially when there is no proper closure.

choose someone who feels good to your nervous system.

jumping into a relationship fast & furious so often leads to a crash & burn. you cannot know who someone is overnight - a persons character is revealed over time and across a variety of situations. take your time and pace yourself.

it’s better to be alone, with your dignity intact, than be entertaining the bare minimum — all the while knowing you deserve much more.

i’m appalled at how normalized ghosting has become, especially in love. don’t do it. instead, use your words and show your respect for other human beings.

if only women knew the power of appreciating what their man does for them, rather than criticizing what’s missing.