Sam G

@AshleyMAvila has a bling watch for the sake of being stylish. The time is wrong.

Those moving lasers they dance through in heist movies are so stupid. Why not just use the motion detectors installed in every house, ever?

@weshacks wesplan.net. Plans your Wesleyan academic career. Boom.

Jersey rest stops are like little pits of hell sprinkled along I-95

@JBdc94 you have more tweets than your followers times your followings

@abbymros @JBdc94 @AshleyMAvila how different would FITA have been if the sister had been taking a dump when the brother walked in instead

LinkedIn is really underutilized as a comedy platform

I can't fart anymore without fear of it being a shart - @DatDudeJJ24

@YaleHack we're in 30301 #yhack

@ortiz_evan @fishbus @MaximumDietz @HuMpDoCTor17 @thexfactorx NO CHARLIE - WE'RE GOING ALL NIGHT

@fishbus @ortiz_evan Google image search for Fishbus