@ryanbyrneman

Founder, Principal, President, CEO Jorp! Media Network

 Edmonton, Alberta
ryan-byrne.com
Joined November 2009
  • Tweets40.2K
  • Following211
  • Followers2.1K
1.7KMedia
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I hate when job opportunities say they are looking for "Rock Stars"; I doubt Jon Bon Jovi spends 8 hours in a cubicle wishing for death, Linda!
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Shows I never skip intro to: - Kids in the Hall - Babylon 5 - Oh god what is my life - You fucking loser
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Every so often I google old friends who were chronically online to see if they're dead
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I don't let my kids watch boss baby, I don't believe in romanticizing child labour.
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"Look the baby's wearing a neck tie" That's not a neck tie, it's a noose. It strangles you so slowly your only hope is death. But there is no death, just occasional pizza parties in lieu of pay raises. Beth always takes the last slice of pepperoni.
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That feeling when you love Ted Lasso and don't understand irony
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I had a large donair for lunch, so I better advise our office manager to shut down the bathroom in ... 20 minutes?
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I love paying @Wawanesa a lot of money to not receive responses to my calls and emails.
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My dream is to be laid off with severance right as I get another job offer
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$300+ to take my kids to a WWE show? I hope TNA or AEW come to town next year.
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The main difference between me and my dad is when I say my kids are so creative I don't mean it as an insult. #fathersday
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I'm going to be a father and husband once, I'm going to do a good job, and then I'm going to die
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Is Clerks 3 a good movie? No. But does it create feelings for a morbidly obese 40-something failed filmmaker? Yes. So maybe it's good?
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I'm less Netflix and Chill and more Kanopy and a Good Night's Sleep
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Hayden Panettiere came out as bisexual, that makes the Heroes fanfic I wrote in college 5% more accurate
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My new job is spending 8 hours on twitter asking billionaires for $50k. Hey Elon, I'll call it X for $50k. Xeeting for an additional $10k.
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I wish @audible_com had more Mick Foley books
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What's a theatre major's favourite meal? BRECHTFAST!
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My tum tum one hour after eating chili
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Kid Rock looks like what would happen if a woman could get pregnant from old cum on a toilet seat
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