BREAKING: OOF! A British paper absolutely SAVAGES Melania’s “ghastly film” in brutal review of the First Lady’s vanity project! The reviews are in, folks, and uh, they are not good. “First Lady is a preening, scowling void of pure nothingness in this ghastly bit of propaganda,” reads the headline at British newspaper, “The Independent.” “Hitting cinemas as the streets of America remain filled with the angry and grieving, the vulgar, gilded lifestyle of the Trumps makes them look like Marie Antoinette skulking in her cake-filled chateau,” writes reviewer Nick Hilton, who gave the film one star. “To call Melania vapid would do a disservice to the plumes of florid vape smoke that linger around British teenagers. She calls herself a 'mother, wife, daughter, friend,' yet is only depicted preening and scowling.” “ This is American history through the idiosyncratic prism of a woman who is part-puppet of the regime, part-delusional creative, and part-symbol of America’s immigrant community.” “The “film” is part propaganda, sure, and part sop to Big Tech companies who require constant regulatory approval for financial manoeuvrings. Even then, it is bad. It will exist as a striking artefact – like The Birth of a Nation or Triumph of the Will – of a time when Americans willingly subordinated themselves to a political and economic oligopoly.” Woof. We’re definitely going to give this one a miss — will you be watching?