@robxhelm

tiny dot on an endless timeline

 manchester
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets17.5K
  • Following161
  • Followers403
527Media
nuke the etihad
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@ the algorithm please stop forcing me to look at 'show me the body'
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way too many people comfortable with driving round in a car called a ‘build your dreams sealion’ for my liking
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lots of people upset at outbreak for bring me the horizon doors opening four hours before bands start. just letting you know you can simply just arrive later. stick around for more tricks on how to manage your time better
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rob helm retweeted
Ben@CriminalCosta30 Nov 2025
Arsenal will win the title comfy I think, only had to take 22 years to compromise all their principles, wait for the worst season of contenders ever, play some of the worst football ever and turn into a LinkedIn football club with some manufactured AI anthem. Future is ours.
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Told @virginmedia I dont want to pay £81.32 to renew my internet so they've offered me a phenomenal deal of ...£81.99.
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I hate when the coffee shop wants me to pick my own lid for my drink I don’t know what size this little cup is help me
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I’ve always liked Trabzonspor I’ve always said that
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my zeitgeist prediction is that everyone will realise run clubs aren’t even good and everyone will get into bird watching
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unfortunately with the announcement of the my chemical romance show? tour? there has been a spike in the use of the term ‘elder emo’. please remember using this term will unfortunately categorise you as a stinky loser forever. just so you’re aware.
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if anyone needed any definitive proof that god isn’t real I’ve just got my third paper cut of the day while doing my email job
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cant imagine anything more embarrassing as an adult than liking 'central cee'
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So called free thinkers when they ask who will march forward when the smoke clears
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i guess i just thought by 34 i’d be a lot better at spreading butter on bread
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people with a ‘job’ and also a ‘dog’ how do you do literally anything
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if you’re setting off fireworks tonight i hope one rebounds off the ground and lodges itself in your skull before exploding
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last week luke with the outdoor boys said he couldn't make too many videos now because he needed to be home with his kids and this week he's snorkelling off a small abandoned island in oceania and eating bat soup
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hour one of dog ownership: my glasses have never been this filthy
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physically at work, mentally pretending to be a filing cabinet on protocol
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puma can pay as many cool guys on the internet as they want i simply ain’t wearing that assed out go kart driver shoe
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