I love this tweet. I don't know whether it's literally possible. But the idea that in an emergency someone could see the resources that are there and make something of them...

Why are slim redheads the most attractive women? Cold all the time in northern climates, but frazzle the moment they go anywhere warm. Blatantly misadapted.

Windows laptops. My work computer is an absolute beast, so long as it's plugged in - on battery it's so throttled it's unusable. And it always has to be on a stand, or in this case a kitchen trivet, or it overheats.

Your kid is bitten drawing blood by a Turkish street cat. Do you..? A. hope for the best / B. lose a holiday day in drab medical centres getting her painful rabies shots. Probably an easy question but what. a. pain.

There's so much world to explore that I've rarely wanted to return to a place. But my 6yo is wandering around this hotel she doesn't consciously remember from three years ago with such confidence... getting a drink alone from the bar. Approaching the cats. It's lovely.

What a job ad. Great rewards and benefits such as not being night shift. And did we mention the parking?

God I just need Venetian separatists to imprison me on Burano with nothing but Italian literature for a few months.

Driving back from the airport from a quite spendy holiday in Venice, and the car engine light comes on. How do machines always know???

My wife hasn't seen 'Don't Look Now', and has randomly chosen this iconic red coat look to wander the alleys of Venice. Hopefully not freaking too many people out.

SUP UWU PUS It's not exactly sator arepo tenet opera rotas but it's kinda magic.

A factory operative, a tough-looking older lady, was explaining something at length to the young female quality manager who eventually cut her off with, "Yeah, all right Mum." Oh boy. I thought I was about to witness a murder. Turned out they were actually mother and daughter!

Like most days, I booted my work computer, pressed the Start button, typed 'inventor' and pressed Return. This time, instead of starting Inventor, Windows opened Edge (browser I don't use) to Bing (search engine I don't use) the word 'inventory'. Outstanding.

Rainy day, walked my kid to school with my hood up then walked home under her Paw Patrol umbrella. I haven't used an umbrella in years, had completely forgotten how nice they are, if it's not too windy. A little bubble of dry, with the water pitter pattering.

Man, I must definitely be showing my age. I mentioned to a couple of colleagues about my nan being ill, and they expressed some polite confusion about me having a living grandparent. Like they might have misheard.

If you have two cats, there's always a good one and a naughty one. Which is which may change daily.

My young daughter is watching 'Annie' (and loving it), but is scared of Miss Hannigan. During the big musical number she cries out in horrified realisation to her sister, "WE'RE little girls!" 😂

ChatGPT can't Ghibli properly today, what is going on?

Christmas is very tiring for pussycats. Why has she got her head like that?

My daughter's Christmas card to her mum: "Mummy, Christmas isn't the same without you." Her mum is fine and we'll all be together at Christmas like we are every day. What goes through their little minds.