Author of BORN IN EAST L.A. CRITERION, A MODICUM OF DECORUM, SOME OF THE MOST RETARDED SHIT IMAGINABLE, and A GOLDEN AGE OF YOGA PANTS. And a good friend.
Costco Rica
Joined March 2011
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Pinned Tweet
Kids can be cruel. In high school they used to call me "President Bill Clinton" because girls were always giving me blowjobs.
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I would like to publicly apologize for the insensitive comments I made. I promise—and my family will attest—that I never, ever would have said the things I said had I been aware that my mic was on. Or if I had been aware that the people I was insulting were bigger than me.
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And it was wrong of me to denounce God in a church as crowded as that one, particularly at that volume. Again, let’s all be reasonable and agree to blame the painkillers.
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I keep hearing about all these teenage boys having sex with their teachers and I just hope to God they’re not home schooled.
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Been rawdogging life for decades now (it’s a fun way of saying I don’t have a high school diploma)
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A few years ago I took my acoustic to an open mic and performed a cover of “Brown Eyed Girl.” My blue-eyed girlfriend found out and was so upset that for the rest of our relationship I had to pretend to be colorblind.
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I was watching Back to the Future and realized that Jeff Tweedy’s biggest guitar influence is Marty McFly right before he says “I can’t play.”
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This may be a bit “inside baseball,” but multiple layers of yarn tightly wound around rubber-covered cork.
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Michael Jackson was a great trailblazing innovator who not only created the "moonwalk" and glitter glove but also hands in pockets this new way.
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In Stand By Me, Gordie sees a deer and makes it his cute little secret. Then when he changes his mind and brags about it the viewer is supposed to give a shit that he saw a fuckin deer. Now available on streaming.
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Actively rooting against my favorite team to win a championship so they don’t have to visit Trump at the White House.
