Comedian. Actor. NYC

Manhattan, NY
Joined December 2015
Going on a date with a chef and I am dreading telling him I am gluten free.
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Riley Lassin retweeted
A guy I hooked with recently asked if I was faking my snort when I laughed, it’s funny THAT is what he thought I was faking.
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A guy I hooked with recently asked if I was faking my snort when I laughed, it’s funny THAT is what he thought I was faking.
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A comedy show where dialogue is encouraged Pull up to @bklyncomedyclub Dec 19th 8pm
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I know we are fasting today but never have I been thirsty enough to send a booty call on Yom Kippur #Jewish #single
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See Riley Lassin @rileylassin on Saturday September 9th at 8:30PM at The Atlantic City Showcase ft. Jerry Torres, Ibrahim Khalif and Rus Gutin @RUSGUTIN at Atlantic City Comedy Club inside @ClaridgeAC! GET TICKETS 🎟️⬇️ atlanticcitycomedyclub.com/e…
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What a weekend for the Jews! Not only did we create the Bomb but we also created Barbie. There are a lot of things people call Jews but you have to admit, we have range.
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I’ll be at @ACComedyClub on Friday!!! June 30 at 830 pm. This is goin to be 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 promo code RILEY atlanticcitycomedyclub.com/e…
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GOP: We are pro-life! So—free pre-natal care? GOP: No Extend child tax credit? GOP: No Paid family leave? GOP: No Universal pre-K? GOP: No Universal healthcare? GOP: No Gun reform? GOP: No How are you pro-life?🤔 GOP: Ban repro health access & increase women’s death
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PCOS doctor: I am sorry your hair is thinning so badly, at least you have a nice face. I know what to put on my tinder bio now
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damn lisa frank went hard
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Damn. Beautiful weddings makes me wanna get married right now
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In the winter you want a cuffing buddy but what is it called if you want someone during a “it’s toxic air outside so now I am bored inside and want someone to cuddle with”
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"are u ok" NO my stomach hurts whenever i eat things that i like to eat
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Buy your tickets now for Friday June 30th 8:30PM with Riley Lassin, . Buy your tickets now! atlanticcitycomedyclub.com/e…
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I love the people in my life
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Mom: Drink the tea I brought, it suppose to help you sleep. Me: It tastes so gross Mom: I know you swallowed worse stuff before, Riley. Savage.
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Marjorie Taylor Greene tried explaining away Climate Change by arguing that no one paid taxes during the Ice Age: Let me break this down a little bit for you: - The last ice age began approximately 2.6 million years ago and peaked approximately 20,000 years ago. - At its peak, temperatures were estimated to be approximately 10°F cooler than they are today. - That equates to a temperature rise of 0.05°F per century over 20,000 years. - Over the last 100 years (1 century) alone, the average surface temperature has increased by 1°F - This is 20 times faster than it had gained on average over the 190 centuries prior. - What changed? Industry and the burning of fossil fuels. Carbon dioxide causes a greenhouse effect, keeping heat in the Earth's atmosphere and surface. The levels of CO2 have increased drastically over the last century. FACTS matter and so do educated politicians.
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