@returnofthebean
Account based inUnited States
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two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert.... near them, on the sand, one vast trunk
22 she/her | EST🕜
Joined August 2021
- Tweets19.6K
- Following335
- Followers175
- Likes18K
ozymandias's penis retweeted
My stroke game is in iambic pentameter that’s why she shakes on my speare
ozymandias's penis retweeted
This guy is an ass SCIENTIST.
He has put in the hours studying the absolute most annoying elements of modern music and social media culture, channeling all of it into the worst "art" ever created. Nobody on Earth has a stronger grasp of total bullshit.
I actually respect it.
ozymandias's penis retweeted
everyone complains about reddit athiests but they miss out on instagram christians
nitter.cf/gothxsosa/status/21000…
ozymandias's penis retweeted
whoever drew this had enough soda wisdom to distinguish ginger ale as its own thing, which tells me they were well on their way to the drunkards grave
ozymandias's penis retweeted
I love the discovery story too. An old grandpa finds what he thinks is an abandoned kitten on the side of the road and feeds it noodles and eggs for a year before realizing, “hey tilcayo, Youre not growing into a housecat, you’re just a little guy. I better tell Science”
A new species of cat has been identified for the first time in a century—and experts think that there may be even more to discover around the world: on.natgeo.com/n5nxra
ozymandias's penis retweeted
the funniest series of events in the 2010s was:
1) this
2) BLM actually *protested* outside his first sold out show, basically just because they hated his music so much
3) he made a several paragraph facebook post apologizing to the black community basically just for existing
ozymandias's penis retweeted
worked with a new manager last night and he was explaining how he tried to be all knitpicky with a policy to customer before he realized he didnt actually care and i was like "oh were you raised catholic" and he just completely froze and stared at me mouth agape
ozymandias's penis retweeted
i loved macklemore from the jump because sincerity is one of my most valued virtues/practiced & goofing off not far behind it & also because it was always clear to me he was woke gringo pitbull
ozymandias's penis retweeted
NEW CAT DROPPED I REPEAT NEW CAT DROPPED THIS IS NOT A DRILL ITS IN FACT A CAT
New cat alert! A call from a wildlife sanctuary about a "weird cat" has led to the first new cat species discovered in over 100 years in Bolivia’s Yungas forest ecoregion. Learn more about this feline surprise: on.natgeo.com/JRuaGj
ozymandias's penis retweeted
Spinner I designed. It is intended to solve all of life’s problems. Please use it as you see fit
ozymandias's penis retweeted
Staffer: Sir, the dog had a minor incident on the couch
Kash Patel: Did someone say dog?
JD Vance: Couch?
Trump: Minor?
ozymandias's penis retweeted
ALT draconym The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything. #I am fond of the eye doctor minigames
ozymandias's penis retweeted
It’s funny how we’re assembling a gestalt canon of teaching aids that one-shot common fallacies.
