@retalsp

Previously a Twitter user.

Joined December 2010
  • Tweets118K
  • Following311
  • Followers814
24.9KMedia
“He's thrown a kettle over a pub. What have you ever done?”
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It’s the weekend!
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Actually, every day is the weekend for me but I’m just joining in.
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I'm off to Greggs to get 4 sausage rolls xitter.cf/SkyNews/status/2113519…
Sky News
@SkyNews10h
The government has published - without fanfare - new advice for all households on how to be ready for emergencies, which includes stockpiling enough food and water for three days. Defence and security editor @haynesdeborah gives her analysis on the campaign's launch ⬇️ news.sky.com/story/be-ready-…

'Be Ready' checklist: The national resilience moment that almost barely happened

The government has published without fanfare new advice for all households on how to be ready for emergencies, which includes stockpiling enough food and water for three days. It took a Sky News...

news.sky.com
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Friday
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This is an incredible gif and one day I’ll think of a reason to use it.
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Just bought a pumpkin. Don’t @ me
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Imagine what it’ll be like on here when Alan Bennett goes.
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Just read that they’re making a 3rd series of The Gentlemen
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Imagine if United announced Pep Guardiola was their next manager in the morning.
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So is @Beigerevenge getting his teeth done?
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Really looking forward to my free North Sea gas. Where do I collect it from?
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Wednesday
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My theory is that North Korea started the Kim Jong Un rumours to take the heat off Kelly Clarkson.
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We used to be a country.
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Kim Gone Unconscious
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People are actually posting ON TWITTER that they'd never go into a Spoons because of the owner...jesus wept.
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Sending this from the DL Wifi
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Just woke up lads #Corporate #Mondaymotivation
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Just started cooking a massive roast dinner of hope with all the trimmings, take my mind off it being Monday tomorrow etc.
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Gravy should be served in an individual bowl at the side of your roast plate like a dipping sauce. That way your perfectly crispy and crunchie roasties don’t get turned to mush before you can eat them. Don’t @ me about the viscosity of the gravy either.
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