Contains; Jazz. Jokes. Nazis. The IRA. More jokes. Kinder Transport. Transport Caffs. Lenny Bruce. Samuel Beckett. Estate Agents. Harold Pinter. More jokes. Top of The Pops. Top of The Form. Stanislavski. Peter Cook. Peter Sutcliffe. "I wouldn't open with it".

Cambridge my squinty in the evening sun's glaze Cambridge

Read this and be very afraid. And this is just my area. Stop moaning about Labour and focus, you factionalist twats. These people are the real enemy. halifaxcourier.co.uk/news/po…

In Cocoa Tree in Chorlton. I'll tell you what. They make a proper decent iced coffee in here.

The theatre was for plays (and pantos) We saw films at the flics.

Woke up this morning thinking about that time they redesigned Baker St tube with Sherlock Holmes tiles and left stacks of them at the bottom of the stairs. People were helping themselves. My mate redecorated half his bathroom with them and very nice they looked too.

Our beautifully eccentricly shaped azalea in full bloom

Evergreen tweet after tonight's lost Morecambe and Wise episode.

Today could have been a great day to bring a little dignity to the occasion, to rise to the demands of the job, to acknowledge that you lack perspective and are totally out of your depth and to know when people have simply had enough but sadly Sky News totally blew it.

There's a great Doonesbury cartoon about Roland Hedley and the gang drawing lots to see who got to shout the inaudible question to Ronald Reagan as he ducked towards the helicopter. I can't find it right now but trust me there is.

OK. I'm throwing this one open. Best caption wins a goldfish.

Me and young Zack do have something in common then because I avoided paying the poll tax for three years.

"Any of you ever been in a working men’s club? Thought not. (Parodic posh voice.) Oh, wait, we did go to a gig at a community centre that time didn’t we, Samantha? You remember. That world music thing. Lovely food." Drum would have stormed SNL. Or would he? Buy my book.

First of May. First lawn buttercup. First azalea flower.

Why I stay on here.

Speaking Clock Blues. "I woke up this morning/at 3.57 am precisely."

We appear to have a blocking the stairs issue.

RIP Beverley. (Kutner/Martyn) Zoom zoom zoom to a higher place. x

Ok that's probably enough Russell Brand Bible jokes now.

The beautiful symmetry of our step apple tree, all blossom laden this sunny April morning.

Click Clack Symphony is fucking awesome isn't it? Click Clack Symphony is fucking awesome isn't it? Click Clack Symphony is fucking awesome isn't it? youtube.com/watch?v=HtVcltkn…