Meet Turhan Mildon: 29 years old, Turkish billionaire, and quite possibly the most efficient grifter of his generation. Most of us spend our twenties figuring out navigating roommates. He spent his collecting heads of state. Last month he married 42-year-old Alina Habba, Trump's former personal lawyer, in a reported $10 million wedding at the Waldorf Astoria. The guest list included Attorney General Todd Blanche, FBI Director Kash Patel, and White House Counsel Will Scharf. Normal crowd for a normal wedding between two normal people. How does a guy get there before 30? Easy. Follow the steps: Step 1: Marry into a Turkish family whose company built a mega-mosque for Erdogan. Get introduced by Erdogan to the president of Congo. Step 2: Become an adviser to Congo's president and pick up a Congolese diplomatic passport. As one does. Step 3: Head to Venezuela. Divorce. Get engaged to the daughter of a U.S.-sanctioned admiral close to Maduro. Land a contract running the country's state-owned cement plants. Step 4: Watch the U.S. capture Maduro in January. Learn the Trump administration reportedly weighed sanctioning you (his team calls that a "malicious rumor"). Lose the cement contract in June. Step 5: Meet Trump's former lawyer at the Kennedy Center. Plan a wedding in about 60 days. Invite the top law enforcement officials in America. Strategic? Romantic? Why not both. And the fun part: he's still trying to hang onto that Venezuelan cement deal. Totally unrelated, we're sure. Oh, and he's still only 29. Or 25, according to British corporate records. Either way, he's out-hustling everyone you know. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love apparently also comes with a diplomatic passport and a seat next to the FBI director.