Tiff Tiff Tifferoo

My daughter just came up to me in a ski mask and said "give me all your money!" Then she turned around and said "you look broke, I'll try another house" as she promptly walked away.

My 12-year-old told me I'm not allowed to embarrass her by dancing to katseye outside her school but then she walked in with blue food coloring from a cupcake all around her lips so joke's on her. 🤪

Paul Skenes looks like a guy who would put out a country album when he retires.

My daughter just leveled up on me. I asked her if she wanted to wear "these clothes" and without looking she says "What is deez? Deez NUTS?!" I gave her a fist bump and in that moment it felt like coming-of-age ceremony.

When you ask your 12-year-old to pick a movie and she says, "How about Jennifer's Body?" 😂 Immediately, yes. #winning #ilikeher 🥰🥰🥰

Totally normal to make baked potatoes at 1 am. Completely.

When that strain hits just right and the chronic pain and brain fog let up and the energy flows and you feel like a real person again for a minute. The vibes are priceless.

Six years late, but I finally started watching Ted Lasso. I get it now. ❤️

I want to see a "How It's Made" episode on cloned pets. Start to finish.

But seriously though.. have you never?

There's a new @Yellowcard album and it makes my lil Xennial heart so happy. – at Jenison, MI

It's hard to explain chronic fatigue syndrome if you haven't experienced it but it's not just feeling run-down or regular tired all the time. It's like I've got 14 miles to E and my house is 15 miles away and I'm too exhausted to pump gas, so the only option is to park behind the gas station and sleep in my car for an hour or two and hope nobody calls the cops because they think I might be dead. For an example. – at Jenison, MI

If you see me in Mexicantown with my shirt covered in napkins, just mind your business. I'm trying to enjoy my quesabirria with reckless abandon. – at Detroit, MI

The Ryan White story is on Netflix. I thought about making my kids watch it to see what school assemblies were like in the 80s but what's the point if they don't have to sit on the gymnasium floor while the TV gets rolled in?

Tell me it's summer in Michigan without telling me it's summer in Michigan. I'll start. 😭

Me needing my daughter to focus on my questions before I can find my phone and her needing me to find my phone to pause her show before she can focus on my questions was the most ADHD, dog-chasing-its-tail five minutes of my life just now.

Totes normal to take a nap in the parking lot after dropping the kids off at school, right?