MA in Religion :: Holistic Sexuality, Trauma Resolution & Soul Embodiment Guide :: Creator of Erotic Earth Embodiment Healing :: Writer :: Queer
Joined January 2009
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“Pushing” through resistance without acknowledging or tending to the part of you in resistance is like non-consensually domming your system.
Eventually, a rebellion happens.
You not saying something because you don't want to cause upset isn't necessarily being "nice." It's actually often a trauma response.
Keeping the peace over being authentic and true to yourself only ends up hurting both you and the other in the long run. You matter, too, boo.
Sure, hurt people hurt people. But some people just live for hurting others, literally feeding off their pain. And I think it’s unfortunate that spiritual platitude culture doesn’t make room for many to see that dynamic clearly. Compassion needs to be paired with truth.
We often think healing requires us to DO something. But I’ve found more and more that healing actually requires me to sit my a$$ down and do nothing.
Most people don’t realize that the “fawning” response is a type of freeze. Your system goes into an “uh oh, let’s dissociate and disconnect from self to appease this person for safety.” Then we often move into a form of hypersocialization, putting other’s needs before our own.
Something most people don’t understand about a freeze response:
You can be operating a “functional” freeze pattern, meaning you fluctuate btwn lots of doing, to shut down or collapse.
“Stepford wives” energy is also a freeze—going through all the motions, yet not fully there.
Most people wouldn’t look at these patterns as freeze patterns, but they are. And typically we don’t realize they are until we have a major crash, such as chronic illness or a “sudden” extreme depression or a total shut down around something, like giving up on a dream.
I am curious when spiritual women will allow themselves to simply be mad.
Without caveats.
Without immediately taking self-responsibility.
Without guilt or bypassing with “it’s grief underneath.”
What if you are just pissed off? And that energy wants to be met, not changed?
I brag that I gained 20 pounds this winter!
And it’s because I was the most regulated I’ve been in 3 years.
My nervous system finally felt safe enough to receive food and nutrients. And it’s like my system decided it was now safe to be IN a body - to exist.
rachel rae halder retweeted
Everyone in America should see this video and be very concerned about all of it
Relationships aren’t black and white. But behaviors are far more indicative of reality than your hopes/desires/dreams of what something might be.
If you’re confused about a relational dynamic, focus on behaviors, not the words, promises, or desires of you or another.
Often when we go on the healing journey, things feel worse before they start feeling better.
Why?
Because suddenly you’re aware of so much that was in the shadow. It doesn’t mean that suddenly it sucks. It means that suddenly you see how much it sucks.
Healing isn't about
"fixing" emotions or people…
It’s about giving awareness, presence, time, connection and safety to meet, attune to and nurture aspects of ourselves that have been neglected, abused, hurt, abandoned, and eventually relegated into hidden corners of our being.
How often do you focus on healing in order to fix yourself - because there's something “wrong” with you - rather than allowing the healing journey to unfold as a way to care for and love yourself wholly?…
Dsyregulation is not point blank bad.
It’s your body saying, “pay attention.”
I don’t think the world needs everyone to be regulated.
I think the world needs more people honoring their body’s natural responses so they can better show up for themselves, and therefore others.