It would be good if buses had doors on both sides because sometimes I want to get to the other side of the road more quickly

The tram is like some weird portal into an unknown realm where the laws of nature no longer apply. The missing link exists only on the tram. It would truly be a wonder to marvel if it wasn't the shittest mode of transport to exist since the invention of the wheel

Motherfucker

Worst holiday ever. What's the world coming to when you can't flush an fishes skeleton down the toilet? Police state

You ever seen a bald guy that wasn't bald? I have

I got an itch that only pushing this button could scratch

I for one think it would be a great idea to send all of the nations 18-26 year olds abroad to engage in compulsory military operations (I am 27)

Having an election on July 4th is actually really symbolic because where the Americans declared independence from us on that date we'll be declaring independence from something or other probably haven't finished this thought

Embarking on a long and perilous journey, to an otherworldly land. A place where the sun dares not shine, the weary tarmac cracks under the weight of people's broken dreams, and Somerfield is still the favourite supermarket (going to Croydon)

Just seen a magpie and a seagull have a scrap, the magpie won Another win for the best bird on this earth

Good coffee should smell like petrol and look like tar

30/40 years ago if two normal people wanted to have an affair they could afford to meet up in a hotel once a week and it was fine. Can't do that these days, it would show up on your Monzo statement

Radicalised by the price of extra virgin olive oil

I got that dog in me rn fr

I wish I could kill myself, but just for a little bit until my shifts over

No better feeling than travelling without a bag

What do people who don't smoke do after they've done something

The government don't understand that the country would be so much better if I didn't have to have a job

This bus sounds like someone put a playing card in the spokes man